


Ways to Cope

by Tai_iza



Category: Negan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV), Twd - Fandom
Genre: Daryl Dixon Smut, Daryl x Reader - Freeform, Darylxreader, F/M, Feelings, Negan - Freeform, Negan x Reader - Freeform, Romance, Smut, Story, Storyline, The Sanctuary, daryl dixon - Freeform, neganxreader - Freeform, saviours - Freeform, slowly builds up not just random smut, smut duh, the walking dead - Freeform, the walking dead season 2-7, the walking dead season 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9259478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tai_iza/pseuds/Tai_iza
Summary: After you lose the one person you love, you get used to being alone.People are dangerous. You get attached. You start to care. They die. You suffer the consequences.Atleast that's how you think, until you come across Daryl Dixon, a man who shows you near to no emotion, while teaching you how it feels to love again.Until a man they call Negan rips it all away from you. And you realise you were right."You suffer the consequences."





	1. Scars in the Forest

**Author's Note:**

> Hiisies! Thank you for clicking and choosing my little work of art~
> 
> I won't talk much as you're here to read some Daryl x You stuff.
> 
> So I hope you enjoy, but just so you're aware I'm gunna be going back and forth in the story.
> 
> Basically: time is going to be my bitch and I'm gunna bend it to my advantage. ^w^
> 
> Hope you enjoy it my little snuggle my waffles~ 
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

 

**18th June, 5:34pm**

I gaze up at the sky as the soft darkening blue is framed by the still trees. I hang my bow across my back and take a deep breath, and listen as the flowing waters of the river bypass me slowly.

 

“It's been a while since I've been alone.. Its hard to find a moment to myself huh..? We were always alone, all we ever did was think..”

 

I chuckle, that wasn't the case anymore. Now I have Rick and the others, and I have people I care about. And now, Lori's pregnant, and soon we're going to have a little ball of happiness crawling around-

 

“God... you know this is bad. You're not suppose to get attached to them. You're gunna lose someone again..”

'What you doing out 'ere?'

 

I turn around to see Daryl, crossbow on his back, his bright blue eyes staring at me waiting for a reply.

 

'Did you follow me?'

'Not everything's about you'

'Okay then Mr.Busy. Why are you here?'

'I'm gunna go look for Sophia..'

'It's getting dark... You should wait until tomorrow. I'll go with you.. more people betters our chances.'

'Nah... You'd slow me down.'

 

He walks past me and I stare into the distance, gripping my shirt tightly. I’m  tired of this. I’m tired of him being so cold, I never seem to know what was going on in his head and he's always so freaking unpredictable! Several times before he'd gone out of his way to make sure I was safe, all the while pushing me away.

 

'I can take care of myself, I don't need you to do it for me.'

'Never said I would.'

'Okay, then go look for her and let me do what I came here to do.'

 

_And what is that exactly? Cause all we were doing is staring off into space._

 

I turn my back to him and walk away.

God, he is so frustrating.

Whatever, let him do what he wants. Stubborn asshole, that all he is, there's no limit with him.

 

'Hey..' he grabbs my arm and I yank away from his touch.

'What? Let me go, you've got other things to do, and so do I.'

'What? You gunna run off cause' your afraid? Afraid of losing us like you lost that other person? You think I didn't hear?'

 

I stay silent... because its was true. I didn't want to lose someone again, just like I lost her.

 

 _Coraline_. Long brown hair. Big, shiny brown eyes, and a smile that had washed so much pain away when you both were starving. She was the reason you fought everyday. She was your cousin, but honestly there was no title that could describe how much love you had for that little brat. She was the reason you kept going. Until they got her. Until you told her to look at the pretty flowers and that you'd see each other again.

 

Until I shot her dead.

 

'Hey, you alright?'

 

I shake my head and come back to my senses, you're not crying in front of him, not today.

 

'I'm fine.' I avoid his gaze because I can't look him in the face and lie. I can't tell him the truth without reliving the moment those things took the only person I cared about.

 

'You zoned out there'

'Yeah..'

'I'll get you back to the house'

'I'm fine..! I don't need an escort Daryl!'

'Stop being so damn stubborn..!' He grabs my arms and throws me over his shoulder as I try to fight my way off.

'Let go of me..!' I hit his back and pull his shirt hard, why couldn't he just let me be? 

'Stubborn little kid.'

'Shutup you annoying old man..! You're always pushing everyone aw--'

 

I stop.

 

I stare at the scars that map Daryl's back inside and out. They stretch across his skin... the dark red lines, engraved onto his skin so deeply.

I want to hug him. God, I just want to hug him even if he throws me across this damn forest! Who did this? It pisses me off just to think about some asshole doing this to him, and the fact that I weren't there...

 

_What happened to him?_

 

'Daryl..?'

 

He drops me onto my feet and pulls his shirt down. I can tell I pissed him off. He always stares at the ground near me when I did. And it scares the shit out of me.

 

'You' always sticking your nose where it don't belong.'

'What happened?'

'Don't matter..'

'Tell me... I'm not amazing with words but I'll try my best to understand. I just want to help you..'

'....'

'Daryl..'

 

I step forward and he slowly leans back, so I reach for his hand but hesitate, I  don't want to annoy him, force him to think about it. I don't even know if I can help... if he wants me to.

 

'Coraline.'

 

'Huh..?'

'Her names was Coraline and she was seven... and she had the biggest eyes and smile you'd ever see in your life...'

 

I smile softly to myself.

 

'We got separated from our family so I looked after her. She was the only person I had, she was everything I had, and I'd do anything for her.'

 

I can feel him looking down at me. I can feel the sorry in his eyes.

 

'Those things got to her... and I lost myself. I told her she was gunna' be okay and, I didn't shed a tear. I comforted her like I had to of course, after she was gone.. I just.. lost it.'

 

He brushes his thumb against my arm softly.

 

'I'm sorry, Y/N...'

 

'It's alright... I got to say goodbye, most people don't..'

 

We both stand here. The silence isn't awkward, it's the most comforting thing. We stand there, just appreciating each others company. He was a right asshole, but you never felt so easy around anyone else like you did with him.

Then, you realise the forest was getting dark, and that the others were waiting.

 

‘We should go..' I begin to grab my bow, but his voice interrupts..

 

'My dad use to hit me..'

 

I look at him as he looks past me, I could see the events replaying in his head through his eyes.

 

'He was a son of a bitch... always yelling bout' something..'

 

I wrap your arms around him and shove my head into his neck. He feels so warm and smells like dirt... like nature, so I hold onto him tightly, I didn't get to have anyone when she died, so I was going to  make sure he did. 

 

'I got you... old man. You didn't deserve it. No one does.'

'Yeah..'

 

He wraps his arms around my waist slowly.. his touch makes me shiver. I look at him and kiss his forehead softly, my cheeks blushing as warmly as him.

'Weird kid...' he chuckles and smiles to the side, that sly little smile of his.

'Hey, I got a burn on my leg from using a straightener. If it makes you feel better.' I smile and step back, watching as he begins to walk towards the farm.

'C'mon kid, I ain't saving you from no more damn walkers..'

'Yes Sir..!' I skip along his side, and he laughs quietly at me, teasing me about being kid as always.

_Stupid old man._

 

* * *

 

**11:25pm**

I roll onto my side, and onto the other, and then onto my tummy, only to roll onto my back again.

So when we're safe behind 4 walls and a roof we still can't sleep?

 

  
_Great_. Fantastic stuff.

 

I stare at the white wooden ceiling. Hershel's house was so peaceful, so serene and calm as it stood in the middle of summer and the hot air.

Too bad the world outside has to ruin it all.

I chuckle. If your humour was a person it would probably be a teen that's always bitching about everything and how the world is pathetic.

Insit up, dangling my feet on the side of the bed. I stand up as the cold wood refresh the sole of my feet while I walk to the window. I open it slowly and as carefully as I can, considering the house is quite old, but still, effort counts.

 

_We don't wanna wake up the entire house now, do we._

 

I stick my head outside as the soft breeze brushes against my face. It's moments like these that kept me going, after everything thats happened. It's all we really get in a world like this.

I watch as the trees move along with the breeze, dancing with it. The sky is dark and the stars twinkle everywhere like little ornaments, and when I look down at the house's entrance to see Daryl sitting there, picking at his crossbow.

 

What's he doing up?

 

I watch him as he pulls at the weapon's metal string, his jaw clenching as he pulled it into gear. I watch as he lifts the weapon into the air, and as he aligns his aim with his eye, I decide to go join him.

I tiptoe down the house like a criminal, trying to avoid any creaky floorboards.

It's not the newest house in the word after all.

After successfully reaching the front door I close it gently behind me, the white fabric of my nightgown brushing against itself as I walk over to him. I walk over to the porch steps, and Daryl looks up to me in slight surprise.

 

'Watcha' still doing up?'

'Can't sleep.' I sit down on the steps next to him, resting my face onto your hand as your arm rests on your leg.

'It's past your bed time.'

'Hilarious, are you sure you weren't a comedian before everything went to shit?'

 

He gives me a cheeky little grin to the side of his face as he places the crossbow down onto the porch.

 

'What are you doing up then?'

'I dunno'.. I've gotten so used to sleeping with one eye open, I can barely rest when I'm really safe.'

'Hm, you ain't ever safe in a world like this, not the way it is now..'

'Yeah... but the closest you can get to feeling safe is being with people we care about. Like Rick and everyone else..'

'Guess so..'

 

I stay still, watching as the clouds move across the dark sky. Daryl looks down, staring at the ground as if he was about to speak, but can’t quite put the words together.

 

'Bout earlier..'

'Yeah..?'

'I'm sorry.. I'm sure she was a great kid..'

' It's okay.. she was. annoying too.'

 

We both chuckle, and as he looks up at the sky, we both sit there watching the clouds pass.

 

'We'll find her, don't worry.'

'Just.. kills to see Carol like that... watching her sit around, worrying... you know?'

'Yeah... trust me. Atleast when you could of done something, you got yourself to blame. But when you can't, who do you blame? You go crazy trying to figure out what wen't wrong, or where you failed, and you stay up all night thinking about if that person could still be here with you and--'

'Hey... you ain't gotta do this. I can go by myself. Its cool, old man here can handle himself.'

'No, I want to. It's my way of trying to redeem myself for what happened..'

I rest my head on his shoulder. I can feel him tensing up, not sure how to react, but he slowly relaxes and slightly leans his head against mine too.

 

'We all got our ways of coping.' You whisper softly.

'You forget..'

 

I look up to him. I look into his bright blue eyes as he looks back into mine, before looking off into the distance.

 

'I do, but trust me, forgetting takes remembering every single detail of it, to try and erase it from your memory..'

'I know..'

 

His voice was deep and low, I could hear all the hurt he'd been through in his words.

 

'Like I said, we'll find her.'

'You bet.' He looks down at me, his eyes mocking me.

I raise my head, kissing his as I got up.

 

'You're a real gentleman, Mr Daryl Dixon.'

 

I giggle as he scoffs at me, whipping my leg gently with a piece of cloth as I hop away towards the door.

'Get outta here kid.' He shakes his head as he gets up and grabs his bow.

'Sure thing.' I put up a peace sign as you walk inside the house, skipping away.

He watches as I disappear into the the darkness of the house before going inside too.

'Little kid..'

 


	2. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my little potatoes!
> 
> This chapter takes place at Hershel's farm when everything goes to shit and the herd comes in. 
> 
> In 2 chapters time the story's gunna be taking place in season 7, because I know this scenario was a couple seasons back.
> 
> So that means: NEGAAN.
> 
> That's all.
> 
> So here's Chapter 2 and I hope you enjoy it~ ^w^
> 
> -Taiza

 

**30th June, 3:00pm**

'Daryl...?'

I push the door open. The stable is dark, and a few strand of lights are hanging in the air as dust particles float about. I saw him walk in here, the anger in his actions as he blasted the stable's door open, the fury in his movements as he walked away from everyone, trying to get away from all the days full of worry and exhaustion.

'Lori's with Carol... she's taking care of her...'

I walk inside and look around. The air is still and quiet, and then I hear the hay rustle, so I walk over to the stable where it came from. I look down to see him there, back against the wall, legs stretched out, staring at the ground.

'Daryl...'

I bend down and sit on top of my legs. I watch him as he continues to stare at the ground, no emotion on his face, but his eyes showing the hurt in his mind. I raise my hand to touch him, I want to make him feel safe and tell him it's okay.

But he moves away.

'Daryl I-- it's not your fault... Please don't blame this on you because out of all of us you're the one who tried the hardest to find her and--'

'She was in there.' His voice is quiet and serious, I can almost hear the disbelief in it. I understand the anger in him. All the days he spent looking for her, she was in that barn rotting away with those things.

'All this time, I was going out there looking for her, giving Carol hope. And she was in there..'

His eyebrows scrunch into anger, the veins on his arm tensing up along with his fists, his energy changes from anger into a mess of disappointment and shame.

'You didn't know, I'm not gunna let you blame this on yourself--'

'I gave her hope..'

'No one knew she was in there--'

'I gave her hope!' He shouts with anger which I know is not directed at me, buy I can't help but deny hurts your feelings. His eyes pierce through me as his breathes escape through his lips loudly.

_Would you quit being selfish? We all just lost Sophia. God, this isn't about you, help him. Be useful for once._

'She accepted everything, and I gave her fucking hope--'

'It was the only thing you could fucking give her!' Before I know it, Im holding his face in my hands, and his eyes are filled with confusion, like he doesn't know how he's suppose to feel.

'Every day we saw Carol cry, you gave her a reason to keep going, if you hadn't God knows where Carol would be right now.'

His chest is rising violently as his breathes quicken with his anger.

'So don't tell me you did wrong, because you gave her a reason to keep going!'

He stares at me.

His lips start to tremble. Is he going to cry? No. That wasn't Daryl. But I can feel him wanting to break inside, as if he's been holding everything in for years. His bright blue eyes are twinkling as tears surface in front of them, but they never run down his cheeks. He was holding it all in.

I don’t care anymore. It doesn't matter if he's stubborn and acts all tough, I want to care for him. I want him to tell me everything, every little thing on his mind,I want him to know that I care, that Im there for him.

Anger races through me, and then...

He wraps his arms around me.

 

'I didn't find her soon enough..'

 

I freeze. I stare down at his head as his head rests against my chest. He hugged me. The tough old Daryl Im so use to... hugged me.

 

'There was nothing we could've done.. you tried..’

I wrap my arms around him and stroke his hair softly. I kiss his head as we both sit there in silence, trying to understand it all. He holds onto me, and I onto him, his warmth all around me, his breath against your chest.

'I'm sorry... she was too good for this damn world.. she deserved better. Everyone does... '

He stays silent, his eyes closed. I look down at him, he's like a child, his long brown hair all over his face. He looks so tired, as if all he needs is a break from all the shit going on.

'I'm proud of you..' I whisper, resting my lips on his head once again, leaving them there for a few seconds, not wanting to ever leave him. I stay like that which feels like forever, and I don’t want to go. Forever isn't long enough for me.

I sit there, replaying it all. Shawn shouting as he busted the doors open, all those walkers flooding out, the gunshots from Rick's gun, and then Sophia. I could hear Carol crying behind me, and I watched as she fell to the ground as Daryl held her. I watched as Rick raised his arm towards Sophia, as she stumbled her way through the corpses. Its all a blur.. except for the moment Sophia fell to the ground, and the final gunshot fired.

 

 

_Look at the pretty flowers._

 

 

I gasp for air. But there isn’t any. The space around me feels empty-

 

_Now's not the time. Daryl needs you._

 

'Yeah..' he sits up and gets up, avoiding my gaze. He wipes his eyes hard, returning to the tough old Daryl I know. He clears his throat and leans his hand to me.

 

'C'mon kid, lets go back..'

 

I take his hand and he lifts me up, and i can't help but not care. I hug him tightly, practically jumping on him.

 

_Kill the guy, why don't you?_

_'I'm sorry. Don't blame yourself.. for anything.'_

 

I hold his face and look into his eyes, as he gives me a slight nod and looks away. I let go and walk towards the doors, opening them as the sunlight lights up the old decaying barn.

 

'Y/N...’

 

I spin around to face him.

 

'Hm?'

 

'Thanks.' He walks towards me and as I hold the doors open, he looks aside at me before walking past.

 

I give a smile which carries enough happiness for both of us.

 

'Always.”

 

* * *

 

**10:15pm**

 

‘Maybe it was Rick?'

 

Everyone had gathered in the living room when they heard the gunshot.

 

‘He ran after Shane, they must've ran into walkers...' Maggie suggests. Hershel is by the window trying to see if Rick and Shane were headed to the house.

Glenn shakes his head.

 

'No, Rick knows it would've made too much noise..'

We all stand here, wondering why Rick or Shane would have a fired a shot this late. Rick was strict about only using guns in emergencies, because of the noise and all the freaking walkers it attracts.

 

_They're in trouble. Isn't it obvious?_

 

‘We should go find them, they might be in trouble--'

'Oh Christ... ' Hershel is staring out of the window and you and Andrea walk over to see what was going on.

 

Walkers.

 

They're everywhere in the distance: All along the border of the farm, I can see them dragging themselves in between the trees, filling the view that surround all the long acres of land.

 

'We gotta lock everything--'

'I can't find Carl!'

 

Lori bursts in, her face red and fear was written all over it.

 

'He's not upstairs, I-I told him to stay--'

'Alright slow down. Where is he suppose to be?' I hold Lori's hand and look at her for an answer.

 

'I-I told him to go to his room but he's not there and I can't--'

'Alright.' I pull Lori to a chair and sit her down as she continues to panic.

'I'm gunna go look for him okay? Don't worry. I'll find him.'

 

As I grab my bow Daryl grabs his crossbow too and walks over to me.

 

'I ain't letting you go alone.' He begins to walk to the door and I grab his arm.

'No, I need you to stay here and take care of everyone. Do that for me?'

'No, theres too many of those fucking things for you to--'

'I need you to be here so that if Rick comes back with Carl you'll find me.'

 

He looks at me before scoffing at the floor, as he starts shaking his head, clearly not liking the idea.

Hell, I didn't like it either.

'I don't trust the others to survive out there. So it's gotta be you.'

He stares at me for a couple of seconds, before giving me a slight nod.

'I can't let you-'

'I have too.'

He stares at me, his bright blue eyes fixed on me as you look back, begging him to understand.

'Aight, be careful.'

He looks into your eyes as I nod. I turn and open the door, looking back at him.

'I'll see you soon.' I nod one last time, before walking out the door.

 

* * *

 

**11:40pm**

I press my back against the house.

Fuck. Everyone's gone.

I inhale hard, my chest hurts from all the panic. There were so many walkers, they were fucking everywhere.

'Alright.. we need to get the fuck away from here..' I whisper to myself as I stick my head around the corner of the house.

God.

Fire is blazing everywhere on the farm and the walkers have surrounded everything. The flames of the barn are reaching up to the sky as the smoke floats away into the clouds.

 

_Would be real nice if we could fly away like that._

 

'Okay. Focus.' I mumble.

The walkers were all headed towards the other side of the house, near the fire.

'Alright.. this way through the forest.'

I prepare to make a sprint for the woods, but then I hear a few groans. I rest my head against the wall and watch as a walker wonders past me.

 

_Do they ever quit?_

 

I slowly approach it, arrow in hand. The walker slowly turns around, and I quickly grab its shoulder and sink the arrow through its eyes, pulling it out with a grunt as the woman-looking creature drops onto the floor.

I stare at her long black hair and blue sundress.

'Hope you find peace.. or whatever's waiting..'

I sigh, even though walkers disgust me, they were still someone before all this. We all were. Luck just tends to run out nowadays.

I shake my head, snapping out of my thoughts. I pull my hoodie over my head and race towards the woods. My loud breathes slowly begin to drown away the noise I left behind as crickets chirp in the distance.

I keep running. It feels weird to be alone. I‘ve grown so use to Rick and the others, to Daryl. Even though silence is something I‘m familiar with, because me and Daryl tend to spend quite a lot time in silence together, the silence here is different. The silence between me and Daryl is good. It's comforting, not the slightest bit awkward. I just sit there... each one thinking, and simply enjoy each others company when you're not making fun of each other or when he's not calling me a kid.

 

_You gotta breathe you know?_

 

I stop.

 

'Fuuuck...' I hold onto a tree and inhale hard. Theres not enough oxygen in the world right now, definitely since its all infected. I look around at the dark forest, the soft fog covering the floor as crickets chirp in the distance.

Fucking creepy.

I shiver and continue to walk onwards, and I see a tall tower.  
Great. This will make a great stop.  
I walk over to it and climb up the ladder, and look around from above. Kind of a random place to put a watch tower. I climb inside the little square hut and try to calm your breathing.

_Atleast theres a ceiling._

_'Good point.'_

I sit down and put my bow beside me. This isn't too bad, kinda reminds me of a treehouse that me and Coraline tried to build.

_Except that one was a death trap._

I open your backpack and pull out the little blanket I managed to grab on my way out of Hershel's. I rest my head on my bag covering myself and looking up through the gap between the wooden walls and the ceiling.

 

I start to think about Daryl. _God, what if he's not okay? What if he got stuck somewhere and is worried sick about you._

'Alright kid, It's Daryl you're talking about, not a 10 year old.'

 

I chuckle, I was scared shitless about him and everyone. But I know hes smart. Smart enough to take care of everyone.

 

 God, he better be alive.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go folks~
> 
> By the way, when you read those small lines that sound like thoughts, if it's in italic that means its Coraline's voice in the readers head, not her own.
> 
> That's why she sometimes replies to her thoughts, because Coraline has become a second voice in her head kind of thing. It's just how the reader (You ^v^) copes with her being gone.
> 
> So yeah, leave some kudos and thanks to those who have.
> 
> Next Chapter will be out by Sunday.
> 
> Love you <333
> 
> -Taiza


	3. Headlights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!
> 
> I'm happy to say that this chapter is longer than usual. I felt like you guys deserved it for all the support. (^o^)
> 
> Theres a surprise in this chapter, and even though it doesn't add up with what actually happens in the series it will all come to place later!
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this one (i enjoy all of them but)  
> I was even writing in the shower. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys like it! 
> 
> -Taiza \\(O3O)/

 

* * *

 

**31 st of June, 6:15am**

 

I look up at the ceiling and I can hear the birds chirping all around the forest.

 

_We should get going..._

 

I sit up and stretch. Last night was goddamn hectic, and it took me a good hour to fall asleep because you couldn't stop worrying about Daryl and the others, especially with all the noise and hassle coming form the farm. For a good hour I laid there, occasionally standing up to towards the farm, the sky above it a dark shade of orange and thick black smoke, emerging from the ground.

 

 

“At least I got a good night's sleep… eventually.”

 

I rub my eyes and look through the gap in the wall. The sun was rising, so if I was to have enough time to look for the others, I was #going to need to get a move on, so I slide on my black combat boots and tie my shoelaces tightly.

 

_Remember that time you slipped and we almost turned into that walker's dinner?_

“'Shut up…” I shake my head and shove the blanket into my backpack. God knows how I survived this long, with all the stupid crap me and her had done we both should've been dead a long time ago.

 

But I’m still here.

 

I swing my backpack onto my back and slowly dangle my feet over the edge of the tower, carefully holding on and climbing down the ladder. As I ste onto the ground, I look around and there are no walkers anywhere.

 

'Hmm, the herd must have gone the other way...'

 

_One less problem to deal with._

 

I grab my bow off my back and began to walk. I have no idea where to start, but I knew the other must've headed south away from the walkers. So, this was my best shot.

 

“God… don’t let them be too far gone.”

 

 

* * *

 

**4:15pm**

 

I kept walking until I managed to come out of the woods and find a sign directing me towards a town called 'Georgia’s Fall'.

 

I came across a small town, the shop windows had all been smashed, and the house doors had all been left open. The main street had all types of shops and a few houses along it, and I could see a few smaller streets leading off the main one. In the distance there was a white church, standing far away at the end of the street with a massive cross above its only tower. No one was here.

 

“Looks like everyone left here in a rush when it all went down..”

 

I walk towards what looked like a pharmacy. One of the others must have gotten hurt, so when I found them it would be nice to bring some supplies.

 

I walk through the door, bow aimed at anything that might jump out. The broken glass from the door shrieks underneath my boots, and I stomp my foot against the shards, waiting for any walker to come out. 

 

_Hm, not even walkers stay here._

 

“It’s certainly not a vacation spot.”

 

I strap my bow across my back and begin to walk around. Scanning the shelves. There wasn't much, just your occasional pill in any open packaging that had been left behind. 

 

“When do you reckon stuff's gonna run out completely?”

 

I sigh, it had been a couple of months after everything went down, and everything was running so low. Imagine what it was going to be like in a couple years’ time.

 

I snap out of my recurring thoughts as I hear a soft groan coming from the shelves at the back. I grab my needle point knife from my waist and crouch down in between the small aisles, swiftly moving towards the end where I can see the back door. I listen to the groans.

 

_It's coming from the next aisle._

 

I listen as the groans continue, I prepare to attack. I swiftly get up and walk into next aisle and raise my arm, looking for your target. I look at the windows at the front of the shop and hear a weak groan from underneath me. I glance down to see a walker trapped underneath a collapsed shelf. It desperately reaches out to me, but not for help of course.

 

“Lovely.” I crouch down to it, watching as it groans weakly at me, making various attempts to grab my arms, or anything I can get its hands on. It looked like a guy, mid 20's, the type of nerd who spends his whole life preparing for an apocalypse. Until it happens, and he realises he doesn't know shit.

 

“Well, didn't go how you planned I'm guessing...?” I raise my knife and stab hard into its skull, hearing it crack.

 

“It’s a shame...” I pull the knife out, and then I stay there for a minute. I had killed so many walkers, that I’ve lost track, not that I wanted to keep count, would be kind of sick to. But every time I did, I wondered who that person was, who they were, what made them… and the fact that no one would ever know.

 

I get up and walk towards the check out near the front. 

 

“Anything? No?” I look through the draws, and as I open the third one a roll of bandages and a small bottle of alcohol rolled out, bumping against the wood.

 

“Go figure, would you look at that…”

 

I grab the supplies and place them into my backpack beside my water bottle, which was wrapped in a blanket.

 

“Wouldn't want this crap to break.”

I chuckle. Because everything isn't enough of a mess nowadays.

 

I get up and jump over the counter, and as I’m about to walk through the door I hear trucks, vehicles, swarming outside.

 

What the fuck.

 

I walk back and press myself against the first shelf. My breathing speeds up as I hear the vehicles stop outside as doors are slammed and I hear footsteps. A lot of footsteps.

 

“Where the fuck are we?”

 

“Fuck knows. Looks abandoned.”

 

I slowly stick my head around the corner of the shelf and look. I can see men outside, carrying guns and jumping off massive pickup trucks, all of them looking around. One of them looks towards my direction, and I lean back fast, looking around for a way to escape.

 

“She headed this way boss.”

 

I hear a final door slam and slow footsteps followed by silence

 

She? 

 

Okay, what the actual fuck? Unless Rapunzel's up in that tower at the end of the street it's me they're talking about.

 

I stay still, waiting for someone to say something. I could feel them looking around.

 

“Alright, you fuckers search that area and we'll have a look over here. Clear?”

 

“Yes boss!”

 

All the men respond in unison to the man. His voice is low, yet happy at the same time. But not the jolly type of happy, the overdone type of happy. The type of happy that’s so happy its fucking scary.

 

I hear as the footsteps start to scatter and I squeeze my knife.

I stay still, and then I hear the grass crinkle behind the shelf. I hold my breath as the shadow of a man starts to move towards me. I watch as he walks past me, too busy looking forward to notice me in the dark. He continues walking forward, towards the back, so I crouch and follow him in between the shelves. I watch as he stands still near the back door, and as he begins to turn around, I jump onto him.

 

I jab the blade into his throat, watching as the blood spurts all over your hands. He clings onto my arms and I pull away. I stand above him, staring as he falls to the ground, gagging to death.

He was fat and muscular and had a big moustache across his face.

 

 

I step back and push the back door open. I look outside before I go, and as I’m about to step outside I feel hands grab me. They pull me back against what feels like a tall man.

 

“Got her boss!” He sounds full of pride and approval of himself.

 

He pushes me to the ground and grabs my shirt, dragging me outside as I scrape my knees against the glass. He throws me into the middle of the road, and I struggle onto my knees and headlights surround me from every direction. I can see the silhouettes of the men all around me, and I lift my hand to block the bright lights from my eyes.

 

“Ain't she pretty?”

 

“Real agitated too.”

 

They all laugh and watch as I look around like a savage animal, looking at them with despise. They all go quiet and my eyes widen as I hear the slow footsteps behind me. I stare at the ground as black combat boots slowly turn around to face me.

 

“Well, aren't you a pretty little thing?”

 

I look up to see a man with a grin on his face. He wears a black leather jacket with a red scarf tucked into it, and his eyes are dark as coal, and they're staring right through you.

 

“Well hello Darlin'...”

 

He chuckles slowly as he crouches down, his eyes looking into mine with hunger in them. I stare back without looking away, and they seem to get darker as the seconds pass by.

 

“Cat got your tongue? Can't say hello?”

 

“Boss!”

 

I continue to stare back, and he laughs lowly before getting up and turning towards the man.

 

“Simon?”

 

“She killed Mendes..”

 

The men began to murmur among themselves. They all become silent as the man starts laughing out loud, mockingly. I clench my fists hard, how fucking dare he laugh at me.

 

 

“There’s my hello.” I stare at him with fury in my expression, and he looks down at me, eyes fixed on mine. 

 

“Well holy fucking hell!” He stands tall between all the lights and he shakes his head as he begins to lean backwards, a bat across his shoulder, wrapped in barbed wire.

 

“Negan... she slit his throat wide open…”

 

The men began to move around and hold their weapons tightly as they stare at me. 

 

“Gentlemen, we have a little killer on our hands!”

 

He begins to swing his bat back and forth, and suddenly brings her up to my face. I flinch slightly, but my eyes never leave his. He watches me in entertainment, and smirks. He presses the bat against my jaw, raising my face as he gets down to look at me.

 

“Sweetheart, you're the prettiest fucking thing I've ever seen since the world went to shit.”

 

A smile stretches across his face.

 

“But killing one of my men? Not fucking cool.”

 

He got closer, and his smile disappears as he finishes speaking.

 

“Go to hell.” I say through gritted teeth.

 

He shakes his head and gets up, turning around to face his men.

 

“Feisty little thing aren't you doll?”

He smiles in amusement.

 

“Simon, get her to my truck.”

 

The man who had grabbed me earlier comes towards me. He grabs my arm and pulls me up, pushing me towards a white truck.

 

“Be real nice and behave” he whispers into my ear and his moustache scratches against my cheek.

 

“Let go of me!” I struggle to break away, and as my arm manages to break free I swing it towards his jaw and sock my knuckles into his jaw bone.

 

“Goddamn-” He stumbles backwards, and I can see the blood dripping down his hand as he holds onto his jaw. 

 

“Fucking kid!” I watch one of the men race through the middle of the road towards me. I grab an arrow and hold it onto my bow, bring it up to aim and letting the arrow slide off my fingertips. 

 

I watch as the arrow pins through his thigh and he falls onto his knees.

 

“Fuck!”

 

I turn around and race in between the trucks towards the other side of the street. Gunfire shoots off and I hear the bullets all around m bouncing off the trucks and slitting into the ground, and I jump through a broken window of one of the shops, stumbling onto my knees

 

“Get her you useless fucks!”

 

I hear the man they called Negan shouting at his men, and I stumble onto my feet.

 

They stand outside the shop with their guns aimed. So, I get up and freeze as they all aim towards me, Negan standing tall in between them all.

 

“Atta girl.” He watches me and I hear the click of a gun behind me, and I can see a guy in the reflection of a mirror behind me as he presses the gun against my head.

 

“Darlin', if you fucking move one more time my men will put a hundred bullets through you.”

 

I chuckle.

 

“Make sure they don't miss this time.”

 

He tilts his head, fascinated by the attitude.

 

“Get her. Fucking properly.” Negan starts to walk away, and 5 men start to walk to the shop. 

 

_You better think of something fast._

 

I jab my elbow into the man’s stomach and throw him onto the floor. I grab his head and hold the knife onto his neck, and the men all step forward murmuring angrily, wondering as to why the hell they haven't shot you yet.

 

Negan starts to laugh. His fist clenches his bat tightly, and he stares up at the sky.

 

“I am just pissing my pants here! Look at her! Just doesn't fucking quit!” His gaze returns to me.

 

“You killed one of my men. Dislocated old Simon's jaw over here. And now you're threatening to kill Jason?” He steps forward, bat on shoulder. 

 

“Not cool little girl. Really not fucking cool.”

 

“A real fucking shame.” I say as I stare at him.

 

 I watch as he smirks, turning around to his men. I take the chance and kick the guy onto the floor and run towards the back door as gunshots start to fire. I feel a sharp pain in your side and I stumble through the back door, running as fast as I can towards the woods.

 

I keep running. I run through the trees and don't bother to look back. My chest starts to burn so I hold onto an old tree to breathe. I slide into its hollow trunk and gasp for air. Its silent... and then I hear him.

 

“Don't worry little girl! I'll find you! Pinky-fucking-swear!”

 

I look up to the darkening sky, framed by the trees above, like the forest back to Hershel’s.

 

But I’m here now, in the middle of nowhere, being hunted like an animal.

 

 

* * *

 

**6:05pm.**

 

I found refuge in an old car parked near a small wooden house in the woods. I had thrown my backpack onto the back seat and laid there, exhaustion and pain written all over me. I look down at my lifted shirt. The bullet didn't go into me, it only grazed my side. But fuck did it still hurt.

 

“This is gunna hurt like hell.” I whisper to myself as I hold the small bottle of alcohol.

 

Glad it isn’t me.

 

“Shut up.” I slowly pour the liquid over the wound, instantly wincing and throwing my head back in pain.

 

“Shit!” I gasp for air and shut my eyes until the pain leaves. I sit up and softly wrap the bandages around my waist.

 

“God… what am I doing…”

I rest my head onto my backpack and close my eyes.

 

“I shouldn’t have gotten attached… I knew it… I get it now, I regret it.”

 

_No, you don't._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> I let my friend read these before I post and she loves them even though she's never watched TWD. I'm going to slowly pull her into our fandom. (._.)
> 
> Anyway, I should manage to write 4-5 chapters until the Season 7 Finale comes out, and by then the story will be up to date with the series.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comment, and I'll answer as best as I can! (^o^)
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> -Taiza


	4. The Way He Rides His Harley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my little Muffins!
> 
> New chapter's in! Hope you guys like this one as it was very fun and emotional to write and honestly almost made me cry. (T^T)
> 
> Warning: shit goes down. (No one dies though its cool)
> 
> As always. Enjoys! <33

* * *

 

**3rd September, 7:46pm**

 

My wound was almost gone.

It had been weeks since. A sequence of motionless days and weeks, which all consisted of getting by: hunting, running, killing. It had been weeks, too many weeks since I saw them for the last time, since I told Daryl I was going to come back. But I hadn’t, and neither had they.  

This fading scar was the only clue as to how long ago it had been, and it was coming near to completely disappearing… like my chances of finding them.

 “It's dark, better find a place to settle in for the night.”

I softly whisper to myself as I walk along the lining of the woods, the high way beside me. I look up at the faded sky as the dark slowly stretches out to the last hint of orange in the horizon, and then a walker catches my attention as it drags itself towards me.

This one was quite big, kind of like those typical rednecks that drink beer all day, and their tummy suffers the consequences and doubles in size.

I raise my bow and bring it to aim. I didn't want to risk getting close to this one, I wouldn't want to be found rotting away, pathetic.

 

_Hold it steady._

 

I let the arrow slide off my fingertips and watch as it pierces through the walker's head, making him tumble to the ground.

 

_Get off the highway. Someone will see you._

 

I walk up to the corpse and pull out the arrow carefully. I look around to see if anyone's following me, and once I’m sure I’m safe, I continue into the woods.

Since those fuckers back at the town tried to take me, I could feel myself becoming more paranoid with every passing second. Sure, it had been a couple days since it happened, but they had trucks to cover distance with.

I only have my little legs.

I feel a droplet of water tap my head, and as I look up I watch as various droplets starts to fall around me. I pull my hood over my head and start to walk faster, scouting for any possible place to be home for the night.

 “Don't want to get all soaked and catch a cold.” I whisper while the droplets hit the leaves above a me, tapping constantly as if they were telling me to hurry up too.

“Oh...” I squint my eyes at what seems to be a fence, but I can't quite confirm as the forest is now dark, and the sun is long gone. I prepare my bow and run towards it, trying really hard to get out of this cold rain.

 

_Pretty big place._

 

I walk towards the fence as the trees stay behind me as the forest comes to an end.

“Looks like a watch tower sort of thing..”

The building behind the fence was massive and had a tower on each of its corners. A part of the fence had fallen back and one of the walls of the prison-like building had been breached, and the bricks and walls had collapsed into a massive pile near the hole which lead inside.

“Better than nothing.” I strap my bow across my back and walk over the part of the fence which had broken down. I carefully climb over the pile which use to be the wall, careful not to slip or fall.

  
_Because bricks are not soft. And boy would that hurt._

 

I reach the top and slowly make my way down, and as I enter the building I look around the darkness, but I can briefly make out what's around me because of the moonlight.

“It’s creepy as hell, but it actually looks kind of pretty..” I say as I walk towards a metal door at the end of the room. I open it slowly as the creaks echo throughout the dark corridors, and I begin to walk through, paying attention to any signs of walkers.

 

_This is not the slightest bit cool. Its creepy._

 

'Yeah I take it back too...'

 I listen as faint groans echo in the distance, and my hold tightens.

'Creepy corridors with voices in the distance. Check...' I chuckle quietly to myself, and it comes out as a shaky little gasp of air, because truth is I’m shitting myself right now.

I reach the end of the corridor and there are 2 corridors leading away from each other, going in opposite directions. I stay still and try to listen out for where the echoes are coming from, because I’m not about to walk myself into a shit storm.

 “What way.. “

 

_Eeny meeny miny.._

 

'Shutup.' I shake my head and bring out my flashlight, and I decide to go right.

'Because how can right be wrong?' I snicker at my shit joke. If Daryl was here he'd stare at me and shake his head.

 I shake my thoughts away and focus on the darkness. I can hear the echoes, and even though they sound far, I can't help but feel their right behind me, and the dark isn't helping either. The light brightens up the end of the corridor, and once again I have 2 possibilities to choose from. I’m about to turn left as I hear a groan. Except, it's way too fucking close.

 

_Did you hear that?_

 

I press myself against the wall and slowly look around the corner, and I can see the darkness shifting. I slowly aim the light towards the corridor, and there they are.

Walkers. A whole fucking mob of them.

I’m about to turn back when I hear footsteps and groans and I freeze. I shakily reach for my gun wrapped around my thigh and raise it along with my flashlight.

'Fuck...'

A group of walkers are walking towards me, and as the light flashes onto one of their faces it stares at me, flesh rotting away and its eyes fixated on me, snarls beginning to fill the corridor.

I step back, I don't know what the fuck to do. Panic feels my chest and I start to breathe loudly, I feel like screaming and I have no fucking clue where I am and I don't know how to get out and-

I feel a cold hand grab onto my shoulder and you turn my head. I see a widening mouth move towards me, and without thinking, I raise my gun...

And shoot.

The sound pierces through my ears and I feel blood splatter all over my back.

 

 

_Run now._

 

 

I stumble back as I point my flashlight at the 2 corridors. The walkers all begin to limp towards me, and I inhale as hard as I can, panic taking over, and then I hear screaming and shouting in the distance.

"Walkers!"

W-what.. that sounded like Rick, o-or maybe Glenn.. or..

 

_Just run!_

  
I turn around and run through the corridors. I run as fast I can as pain pierces my side, I hold onto my wound as I run through what feels like labyrinth. I have no clue where I am. I don't know if I’ll get out again. I’m just fucking run as fast as I can.

 

_Focus._

 

I blink and focus around me, leaning against the cold wall. I inhale, trying to catch my breath, and as I reach for my knife I feel something cold hit my hand. I hold onto it and flash your light above it.

 

A door.

 

'T-thank god..' I struggle to breathe as I pull the door open and stumble inside. I fall into the small room and reach for the door handle, pulling it shut. I wince quietly as the pain shoots through me. I drop my backpack onto the floor and rest against the wall, my legs stretched out, weak from running.

Gunshots echo one after the other in the corridors outside, shouting and screaming bouncing from one wall to the other.

'I'm here...' 

 

 

* * *

  
**5:47pm**

“You really thought you could get away from me?”

 

The man they called Negan grabs my arm, pulling me closer to him. He brings his face closer to me and I stare into his dark brown eyes.

 

I can’t feel anything. I don’t want to either.

 

His lips were close to mine. I can feel his heat against me as he holds onto me tightly.

 

“Here's the thing Darling…” His eyes look up to mine, and I feel fear and anger run through me.

 

 

“I'm Negan. I'm everywhere.”

 

 

  
I gasp for air and my chest rises and falls rapidly, and as I blink I look up at what looks like springs and bars.

 

“Daddy, she's awake…”

 

I feel a sharp pain shoot through my head, and as I move my hand I feel a cold piece of metal around my wrist. I try to yank away but I hear rattling, and then I hear a voice which sounds too much like Hershel's.

“Take it easy, the medicine we gave you was pretty strong.”

I look to my side and see Hershel and Beth. They both look at me, relief written on Hershel's and pure happiness written on little Beth's.

“Beth, go get Rick..” Hershel looks at Beth as she gets up and round out of the small room.

I look at a set of massive glass windows outside the room, faint sunlight shining through.

“Now, let’s take these off..” I look up at Hershel as he slides a key into the handcuffs and removes them from my wrist as he slowly takes my hand and places it on my tummy.

 

“'Hershel... what happened...?”  
  
“We found you with a bullet wound in your side. I put some stuff on there to help it heal better…”

“I thought the raw alcohol would’ve done the job”

 Hershel chuckles at me.

 "You'll be alright."

I smile as Rick comes into the room, his eyes meet mine and I smile.

  
“Hey Rick...”

“Y/N...”

  
Hershel holds my hand and sits me up, he gives me one last smile before leaving as Rick gets down and gives me one of those tight but soft hugs he has. The type that makes me feel safe, which rarely happens nowadays.

“What the hell happened to you..?”

“I went looking for Carl, but those things, they were everywhere... I’m sorry about-” I mumble into his collarbone as I hold onto the back of his shirt.

“You ain't got nothing to apologise for. I didn't find you… me and Daryl tried-“

“I'm here now.” I lean back and look at him. He looks down sighs with relief.

“I'd say I managed alright..” I watch him as he gets back up, tilting his head and chuckling.

“You sure 'bout that?” He points towards my wounds.

“This little scratch”' I chuckle and pat my side softly

  
I look up to him and I can tell he knows what I’m about to say.

  
“Daryl?”

“He went out, looking for you. “

  
I nod my head and get up slowly and Rick holds my arm softly just in case. I slowly walk out of what I now realise is a cell and look around.

  
“A prison?”

“It's got security. We cleaned it out from all the walkers and kept this cell block. Got bars and gates to keep us safe.”

“Sounds good...” I look around in approval.

 

 

 

* * *

 

**8:45pm**

 

''It was a long couple of weeks, the winter didn’t help either…”  Rick stares into the fire, as if the long winter which passed was replaying in his head.

 

The group had gathered around a bonfire outside in the field, and I stare at the fire as I hear the crickets chirping outside in forest, the air still soft.

  
“We still haven't found Andrea.”' Glenn looks at Rick as Maggie puts a hand on his shoulder.

“We'll find her too..” Rick nods as everyone stays in silence, enjoying the moment.

 

 

“We did this a few days ago. Beth sang for us...” Carl looks at Beth as her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“She's a lovely singer, like her mother was...” Hershel smiles.

I smile too. I was glad to be back.

"Alright, well it's past your bedtime kiddo." Lori gets up as Carl groans, slowly following his mother as everyone begins getting up. I help Carol put out the fire and as we both walk up to the gates outside the cell block I stop and look at her.

 

  
“How you holding up?”

“I'm fine... dealing with it best as you could.”

“It'll be fine.. trust me. There’ll be better days, we can hope so…”

  
I hug her softly and she smiles back before walking towards the cell block entrance.

  
“You're not coming?” She looks back at me.

“Think I'll wait a while..”

 

 

* * *

  
**9:05pm**

I got up from my chair as soon I saw him ride in on his Harley.

I watched as he parked it, looking at the ground as he walked up the hill. I could see the exhaustion in the way he walked, and the anger too. I held onto my nightgown, and as he looked up to me he stopped. His eyes widened as he slowly began to run up the hill, relieved as he dropped his cross bow onto the ground and grabs me into his arms. I wrapped myself around him tightly, shoving my face into his hair. I could smell the weeks worth of rain in it, the weeks he must've of spent looking for me.

  
“I was worried sick kid...”

“I know...” I hug him again, I hold onto him tightly and I can feel the pain in my side, but I don't care.

  
We stand there, the night sky above us and the crickets chirping.

  
“I told you I’d be back...”

“Don't ever do that shit again...” his eyes are serious, and I stare through the ocean blue in them, as he continues to look at me.

  
“I won’t.”

I playfully push his head back as he grabs my arm and tries to grab me to swing my body around.

“Better not, you stupid kid.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's Chapter 4!
> 
> Took longer than usual but the adittional time definitely made it worth it for me, otherwise you would'be been stuck in the prison alone until the next chapter.
> 
> Hope you guys liked it!
> 
> Leave some kudos and comments. I love talking to you guys. (^o^)
> 
> -Taiza


	5. He'll Be Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kiddos!
> 
> Soo I know this one took longer but it ended being really long as I realised I need to speed things up a little. This ones very long so enjoy damaging your eyesight.
> 
> Very cute Daryl x Reader moment included as my little gift to you all. 
> 
> Enjoyy (•o•)
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

**13th September, 11:32pm**

 

I stare up at the plain concrete ceiling as everyone sleeps in their cells quietly. The prison was dead silent and I was the only one awake.

  _He won't mind you know._

"You're too young to know.."

 Daryl's cell is downstairs, and I really just want to run down there and wake him up, he struggles with sleeping too, imsomnia I think, and well, I can't sleep for shit, because every time I close my eyes and think I’m about to get some decent sleep, my mind decides that's not happening.

I sit up and dangle my feet over the side of the bed, and the cold concrete floor makes you shiver. I get up and walk out of my cell. Mine was upstairs opposite the stairs, so I was going to have to be careful not to wake anyone up, because 'hey I'm just going over to sleep at Daryl's cell' isn't an excuse I wanted to explain to anyone. I hold onto the railing and slowly step down, the windows projecting the moonlight onto the floor and walls.

 "Pretty.."

 I whisper softly to myself, and when I step off the last step I look over to Daryl's cell. I walk over and lean against the bars, watching him as he sleeps.

The moonlight is glistening over his face, and he looks so peaceful and calm, different from how he usually looks. He's usually so tense and so serious... but here he looks so vulnerable, and I just want to hug him and take care of him, of that kind heart of his.

_Then do it.._

I walk over to him and bend down. I move the hair out of his face carefully and watch his eyelids flicker.

"Old man.."

I smile. I was so glad we found each other that day, because God knows what kind of mess I would've turned into after everything that happened.

"Hm.." he turns around onto his back and I quickly get up and hurry out of the cell, and as I’m about to walk out, I hear his hollow voice.

"What you doing up?"

I freeze and swallow slowly, trying to look for an excuse other than the fact that I'm acting like a child who can't sleep in the dark. 

"Er, I heard a noise. So I came to check if everything was alright."

"Were you planning to check on everyone else too?"

"N-no.." I turn around and look at him sitting in his bed, watching me as he shakes his head and laughs quietly to himself.

"Fine. Next time I'll stay in my cell. But if its a walker or something don't blame me if you lose your-"

"Like Hershel did?"

"I didn't mean it like that.."

 

I really did forget. 3 days ago Hershel lost his leg after Rick and the others had been attacked while clearing out the tunnel and Rick had to, well, cut off his leg because of a bite. But he was okay now, and I wouldn't of forgiven myself if he wasn't because it was him who saved my life a week ago. So the last few days I spent sitting there with Lori, making sure he was okay, and I can't describe the relief I felt when he finally woke up.

 

"Well, I'm gunna go back to my cell.."

I give him a little smile and turn around, but as I’m about to walk out, I feel his hand grab my arm and pull me back.

"S-shit.. Daryl..."

 I stumble back as he pulls me onto his bed and I fall onto him, back sprawled across him. His chest vibrates softly as his rough voice chuckles from underneath me.

"Kinda heavy aren't ya..?"

"Shut up. You're just jealous of my amazing figure."

I get off him and lay down beside him, head resting on my arm as I stare up at the ceiling with him. It's that silence again, the comfortable one. We both lay here in silence on the bed, and I wonder what's going on in his head, if he's happy, if this all doesn't bother him, if he misses what life used to be.

 'Daryl..'

'Yeah..?'

"Do you miss life before?"'

I rest my temple against his arm, staring down at the small winged devil on the inside of his bicep, its wide grin stretching across its face as it dances still on his arm.

"no..."

 I smile softly, not the slight bit surprised with his response. We lay there for what seems like hours, and the silence is comforting, and I want to fall asleep to the sound of his voice. 

He stays silent for a bit, and when he speaks, his voice is low and tired.

"Sometimes, me and Merle use to sit out on the porch and we use to sing a bit.."

"Merle? As in Merle-Merle?'

"Only got one brother kid.."

"Gotta make sure we're talking about the same guy. I mean, come on.. Merle."

"Whatcha' mean?"

"Come on, everyone says Merle was this big guy who didn't take a thing seriously, always yelling and complaining."

"Yeah, he was asshole... you can bet on that."

I close my eyes and slowly after I feel the side of his jaw rest against the top of my head, his breath brushing up against my hair. I hug his arm and places his hand on my arm, his chest rising and falling slowly as I feel him relax, as his voice becomes a soft echo within the cell.

 

"Merle was my family... but I wouldn't go back to before. My family is here, now..."

"We have to protect everyone, keep them safe, you know that... right?"

 

I feel his breath roll past me as he sighs.

 

"I know... but we have here now, and they won't have to deal with those things in here, they're alright..."

 

"At least now they have peace from those _things..._ "

 

* * *

**27th September, 5:15pm.**

  

"Hershel!" Rick looks up at Hershel as we all run to the entrance steps, their faces as worried as before we entered the prison to search for everyone.

"You didn't find anything?" Hershel looks at us, his soft aged face looking down at Rick.

"We though maybe they came back out here." Beth shakes her head to Glenn, god, the poor kid, first it was her home she lost, now her sister too.

We all watch as Hershel and Beth shake their heads, the courtyard only filled with ours and their presence.

"I'll check the perimeter, make sure there's no more walkers left..." I nod at Rick as I begin to walk towards the fields.

"What about T? Carol-"

"They didn't make it-" Rick turns around and stares at Daryl, his python in his head as the sweat on him glistens under the late evening sun.

"That doesn't mean the others didn't. We're going back, Daryl, Glenn, you're going o-"

I watch Rick as turns around slowly, looking towards the side gates as they open, the metal shrieking as a noise- a soft, innocent voice calls out from behind us all. I slowly turn to see Maggie holding a piece of cloth, with blood splattered all over it, tears are streaming down her face and horror is written all over her eyes. Carl's standing there, a cold expression in his eyes, as they avoid all of us.

 

 

"where is-where is she..."

 

 Maggies voice barely leaves her lips as she struggles to speak, her tears the only thing we can understand. Rick walks past her, ignoring the small shaking child in her arms as she holds onto him, trembling.

"n-no Rick... d-don't.."

As Rick stops infront of the gates, his hands reach up to his face as his frame begins to shake from his hard, fragile sobs. Carl stands there, his father behind him as he stares at the ground, his expression cold but accompanied by tears. Rick turns to him and bends down onto his knees, his eye searching for an explanation.

 

"oh no... god no-no..."

 

Glenn reaches for Maggie and holds her in place as she tries to explain, but her sobs interrupt her at every attempt, and as they turn to Rick, he slowly falls onto his knees, and his weight shifts onto the ground as he lays there crying.

I look at Daryl, and Carl, and then Beth, and Hershel, and they're all looking at the ground. And soon, I find myself staring at it too.

 

Because Lori once walked here, carrying Judith within her. But now, she will never have the chance to walk among us with her child in her arms.

 

Because, she will never walk at all, ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand thats chapter 5!
> 
> I actually had a lot of trouble naming this damn chapter because of all the stuff that happened. I hope you guys enjoyed it all and please tell me if too much is going on at once.
> 
> As always, leave kudos and comment, I love talking to you guys and it makes me smile like a retard.
> 
> Love you all! Stay safe!
> 
> -Taiza


	6. Tell Them I'm Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Muchkins!
> 
> Chapter 6 is in! This one evolves around the original plot and a lot happens but it's safe to say that by Chapter 9 we will officially be on track with season 7! 
> 
> This chapter was just kind of normal to write as I was more focused on the plot kind of thing.
> 
> So there you go~
> 
> Ps:A lot of stubbornness is in this chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! <33

* * *

 

**30th September, 5:36pm**

 

"Wheres Glenn and Maggie?" 

"We.. we don't know.."

I stare at Rick and Daryl, they had left in the morning to go look for supplies, and now the sun is damn near gone and they're back.

"Someone took them.. they're gone.."

I slide my fingers through my hair and let out all the air inside me.

"Shit.."

 

Lately everything was going so wrong. I was so happy, you were with Daryl again and everybody else. But then everything started to crash down one by one, because that’s just the reality of the world now. First it was Hershel, then Lori, and now... Maggie and Glen?

 

"Well we need to get back out there and look for them."

I look at Rick as he begins to walk towards the prison and he shakes his head, turning to look back at me.

"I'm going inside, need to tell the others.."

I nod slightly and stare at his back as he walks up the hill, his walk more exhausted than usual.

 

He's a strong one that one.

 

"We'll find them.."

I turn around to Daryl, crossbow in hand as he walks over to me.

"I'm coming to help.."

I look up to him and wait for him to respond as he stares up at the prison.

"No you're not."

"I'm not about sit around with Glenn and Maggie out there. We don't know where they could be-"

"I'm not losing you like I did back at Hershel's."

 

He speaks clearly but quietly at the same time, like he didn't want to admit it, but he knew he had to, because he wasn't about to let me leave again. And I know I'm suppose to be happy because of what he said, but inside me, the feelings of repulse are bigger than the "fuzzyness" people always talk about-happiness. Because all those months alone, have taught me one thing, and I know better than to be happy, especially since its such a fragile thing to feel in a world like this.

 

"I can take care of myself-"

"I don't want you to come."

I stare at him as the words float around me, the air still with silence, but his words sting and leave a horrible feeling in me.

"You don't decide for me, Daryl."

He looks aside at the ground near me, letting what I just said sink into his mind. He looks up at the prison and nods, shaking his head as he lowers his gaze once again.

"You're right."

 

He swings his crossbow over his shoulder and begins to walk up the hill, and I stand there as he gets more and more far away from me. I watch him, and I can't help but feel bad for saying it, but at the same time, I feel relieved. I didn't want him to care too much, because I shouldn't have stuck around too long in the first place. Because, if he hates me, it would be easier on him if I disappeared.

 

It would also be easier on him when I died.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**6:45pm**

 

"Who's that?"

 

I stare at Beth as I hear Rick and the others talking in the entrance room. I look towards them and I can see Daryl through the bars as they all gather around someone I can't recognize.

"I-I don't know.. Rick brought her in and she said she knows where Glenn and Maggie are.." 

I rush to the gate and slide it open, making my way to Rick's side, and even though I'm more interested in the woman I've never seen before, the hostility around Rick hits me, like a sudden fall of rain.

 

"Who is this?"

I stare at the woman like everyone else. She has long brown dreads which frame her dark eyes which are looking around, alarmed at all of us.

"She said she knows where Glenn and Maggie are.."

Rick answers me without taking his eyes off the woman as she takes a step back.

"Where?"

I stare at her as she stares back, before opening her mouth to speak.

"Woodbury. It's a small community a few miles from here."

"How do you know?"

"I escaped from them.."

I hold my gun by my side, ready to shoot if she tries anything.

"Why were you carrying formula?"

Rick tilts his head as his grip tightens around his python.

"The supplies were dropped by the young Asian guy.. with the pretty girl.."

Hershel gets up and looks at her, the description fitted Glenn and Maggie. It had to be them.

"What happened?"

"Were they attacked?" Hershel's voice is full of worry.

"By the same son on a bitch who shot me.."

 

Rick steps closer to her, tension spread across his voice.

 

"These are our people so you're going to tell us where they are."

He grabs onto her wound on the side of her leg and she hisses in pain, glaring at Rick with anger.

"Don't you ever touch me again!"

 "Rick stop!"

 

She points her finger in his face and he stares at her, growing impatient.

 

I pull Rick back and step in front of him, and she lowers her hand slowly and switches her gaze to me.

"Can you take us to them?"

I look at her as she looks at Rick, hesitant.

"Yes.."

"Alright. You lead us to them and we'll let you go."

She stares at me before giving me a slight nod.

 

"Fine.."

Rick steps beside me and nods.

"As soon as we find them you're out."

 

He and Hershel walk out and we both stand there, and I know she's probably analysing me as much as I'm analysing her.

 

"What's your name?"

She raises her head, opening her mouth to speak.

"Michonne.."

"Michonne. Never heard it before."

I let go of my gun, and she watches me as I do.

"y/n. You take us to them and I'll see to it that you leave here safe."

 

I nod and turn my back to her, making my way to the entrance door, walking out into the courtyard. I start to walk towards the gates that separate the grass from the court, and Daryl's standing there, back to me.

I walk past him and I know he's watching, which is just the thing with Daryl.

 

"y/n..."

I stop and stand there, waiting for him to continue.

''It ain't safe out there kid.."

I stare up at the sky as the blue has now turned dark.

"That's just the thing Daryl."

 

I turn my head aside, opening my mouth to speak words I knew I never wanted to say, but the thrill of the moment is something I tend to give in to.

 

"I'm not a Kid. And I sure as hell don't need you to take care of me."

 

 

* * *

 

**7:00pm**

I watch Rick as he, Michonne and the others prepare to head out.

 

"We'll be back with Glenn and Maggie!"

Rick looks up at me as I stand with a rifle in my hand, nodding in response. He nods back and gets inside the car with the others.

 

_Stop being so stubborn and say goodbye!_

 

I watch Daryl as he sits on his Harley. He looks up to me and doesn't say anything, and as Carl opens the gate he looks away before turning his head.

 

_Just say it!_

I watch as he drives away, Harley humming away into the dark night, and when they're out of sight, I close my eyes and listen to her roar in the distance.

"Stay safe, old man.."

 

_Too late now._

 

 

 

* * *

  **00:04pm**

 

I could feel my sight getting weaker and weaker as my eyes kept on closing slowly.

 

"Shit.. I'm tired.."

I shake my head trying to stay awake.

 

_Its been hours, where are they?_

 

"Stop worrying..."

I get up and walk up to the bars as I stare at the road leading away from the prison. Maybe I should leave, people are so much trouble, and since I've been with Rick and everyone else, I've  been worried half the time; way more than I'd like to be. And it's all because I'm ignoring the one thing I know for a fact: you suffer the consequence. And I sure as hell know I've already suffered many of them.

"People are so much stress.."

 

I’m about to turn away and head inside the tower, and then I see headlights in the distance. 2 little lights in the immense dark surrounding the car.

"Thank god.."

I grab my rifle and rush down the guard tower, busting the door open. I run over to the gate and shove the lock into the keys as the headlights hit your face and I pull the gate open.

"Rick.."

I smile at Rick through the rolled down window as he drives in, jumping out of the car as soon as it stops. You push the gate closed and lock it, and when I turn around you see Glenn and Maggie.

"Oh my god..."

I run up to Maggie and hug her, and she wraps her arms around me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sort of.."

I lean back and watch as she smiles and when she lets go I hug Glenn.

"Hey y/n.."

He gives me a small smile, as if he's not relieved just yet.

"What happened?"

 

Before he can answer Rick chimes in, calling us all to come with him.

 

"Where'a Daryl? And Oscar?"

"They've got him..."

"What?"

 

I grab Ricks arm and he turns around, clearly trying to avoid my gaze until he takes a deep breath, and looks at me.

 

"What the hell happened?"

"We don't have time. We need to go back and get him.."

"Well I'm fucking coming."

"No, I need you here."

"Fuck that!" I turn around and head for the car, but Glenn grabs my arm.

"We're gunna get him. But we need you here."

"I'm not staying."

 

"We can't leave everyone unprotected, we need you here in case something goes wrong-"

"Yeah Glenn, that's all I've been goddam doing ever since I've been here, and look at how useful that's been! I'm tired of sitting around and doing the one thing I'm shit at, I can't stay in one place, and I'm done doing it, so you're either taking me with you, or I'm going by my fucking self, either way, I'm not staying here while one of us dies."

 

Glenn looks at me for a few seconds, before letting go of my arm and shaking his head.

 

"Alright. You're in.."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's Chapter 6!
> 
> I really liked the chapter for this title, it sounds badass to me like 'let those motherfuckers know I'm coming for my guy' kinda thing. 
> 
> There's one thing I want you guys to do. I'm seriously just going to skip through to season 6 because all the seasons before that we're kind of blur and yeah.  
> So I want to know if that's okay because I feel like being in season 3 is boring.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed and as always leave a comment and kudos!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> -Taiza (ToT)


	7. She's Where He Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my little psychos!
> 
> Sooo chapter 7 is here, and I really didn't want to make you guys wait a week cause it kills all the momentum of the story. This ones real long (I say that everytime) so I hope you guys like it.
> 
> This is literally the only exciting thing in my life which I care about right now so I really hope you guys enjoy what I do.
> 
> So yeah, enjoy it or I'll break into your house and force you to memorise every chapter.
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

**16th August, 3:47am  
**

I tie the rope onto a metal pipe near the edge of the building and lay out the rope.

**_'" We're gunna do this quick and easy."_**

I peer over the edge at the crowd. They are all screaming and shouting as 2 men drag out a pair of guys into the centre of the ring.

_It's Daryl.._

'Fuckers..'

I clench my bow tightly and as I bring it up to aim, Rick's voice crackles through the radio.

**_'"Wait. We need to make sure they're all off guard.'"_**

I slowly switch my gaze to Rick who is hiding on a lower rooftop on the other side of the ring. He watches me as I nod. But I don't lower my bow the slightest.

Because I am ready to kill them all.

"And we'll watch as these two criminals fight to death!"

I watch as the Governor looks around the ring, a smile on his face as he slowly looks over to Daryl and chuckles. As the governor walks off, the 5 walkers surrounding the stage lunge at him, and when he's far from reach, they turn their attention to Daryl and the other man.

" _Hold it."_

I clench my jaw as I hear Rick speak. I really just wanted to shoot an arrow through the Governor's eye, right through his head.

"Better give me the signal soon.."

I watch as Daryl and the other man exchange punches, and I feel my heart drop when a walker manages to grab him; but he punches it and it stumbles onto the ground.

My knuckles are white as I clench my bow, ready to fire.

  
_Do something._

  
The other man bashes one of the walkers skull open, and as it tumbles to the ground, he and Daryl stand back to back. The chain of one of the walkers brakes in half, and as it starts to swing its dirty hands at Daryl, I close my eye and tilt my head.

**_"Wait!"_ **

 

I let go.

 

The arrow pierces clean through the walkers head, and it collapses in its own steps. The crowd begins to scream in fear, rushing to all directions, jumping over eachother as people stumble and fall in horror.

 

**_"Alright go!"_ **

 

I watch as Daryl looks around and when his eyes finally meet mine, I lower my bow and get up.

 

" ** _Get him now!"_**

As gunshots start to fire from every direction, I lean over the edge of the roof and strap my bow across my back. I grab onto the rope and swing down the building, and when I lower yourself onto the floor, all I can see is smoke.

Where is he? Where's Dixon?

"Daryl!"

I wander around the smoke as people flee in every direction. I feel my throat tighten as I begin to cough, and then I feel someone grab onto my arm.

A touch as warm and as firm as Daryl's.

I’m about to turn around but he drags me with him, and we both run through the smoke until he pulls me behind a car, and he pulls me into his arms.

" y/n..."

I shove my face into his neck and all the gunfire and screaming fades away.

"D-Daryl.. I thought they..2

'I know.. I know..'

I hold onto him tightly, and I start to drown in his warmth. His pulse is fast but it calms me, it's a reminded that he's here. He's alright.

_**"Where are you?!"** _

I pull away and bring my radio up to my face.

"Rick, I've got him.."

**_"Get here now!"_ **

I look at Daryl as he gets up and holds my arm, lifting me gently.

  
"Ready kid?"

"Yes.."

As he begins to look around I grab his hand, and he looks aside towards me. He squeezes my hand, and then I run for it. Out of the smoke, I spot the others climbing over a bus, jumping other to the outside.

"Rick! Glenn!"

I shout desperately as Rick turns around and starts to shoot behind us. As I walk up to the bus I struggle onto the hood with Daryl, and as I’m about jump he lifts me onto its roof.

"Come on!"

He jumps on and I grab onto his arm, pulling him up beside me. He turns around, leaning over the edge and grabbing onto an older mans hand.

"C'mon little Daryl, help your big old brother up!"

 

"Brother?"

 

I look at Daryl as he pulls him up, and I realise that's Merle. The big asshole of a brother everyone mentioned. This was him.

I switch your attention to Rick as he and Oscar begin to climb the bus.

"Here!"

I grab onto Rick's hand as sparks start to bounce off the bus from the gunfire. As Rick and Oscar get onto the bus, Oscar suddenly tumbles over the edge, rolling over as he hits the ground.

"Oscar! We gotta get-"

"He's gone.. we gotta go!"

Rick grabs onto my arm and pulls me over the the other side. I fall onto the hard ground, and as Daryl helps me up I hold onto his hand and run, all of us. We all run together as the gunfire begins to sound more and more far away.

 

Poor Oscar... we didn't even get to say goodbye.

 

* * *

**5:15am**

Me, Daryl and Merle all sit in a car as the others drive ahead. I twist around and peer at Merle from in between the seats, and he gives me a sly smile to the side of his face, kinda like Daryl's. Except when Daryl does it, it makes me feel warm and everything around me feels safe.

Merle just looks perverted and creepy.

"Well little brother, you sure picked a pretty one didn't you?"

"Shut up Merle.."

I look at Daryl as his eyes stay fixed on the road, one hand on the car wheel.

"So you're staying with us?"

"You're folks over there don't really like old Merle over here, which is gunna make things hard.."

"Why?"

"Misunderstandings.."

Daryl scoffs at the statement and straightens his back against his seat.

"Misunderstandings my ass."

"C'mon baby brother, don't be so petty."

I bat my eyelashes at him. Merle's so different from Daryl, they're complete opposites of each other, and even though all the few times Daryl's replied to Merle's comments have turned into arguments, when he told you about him he smiled as he recalled all their memories together.

"So sweetheart, how did you talk to Daryl? Cos I sure as hell know he weren't the one who made the first movement.."

"Quit talking shit!"

Daryl raises his rough voice at Merle as he glares at him through the rear view mirror, and I watch as Merle laughs in amusement.

"We just came across each other.."

"That right?"

"Yep. He was a real gentleman about it. Said he'd kill me if I tried anything, and of course, I returned the threat, basic manners."

I smile at Daryl as he looks aside at me, and I lean up to his face, clearly taking the piss.

"She's gunna be real fun to take with us baby brother. Real talker this one.."

I turn my head to Merle.

"Take with us?"

I can see Daryl staring at Merle at the side of his eye, and I look at both of them as they look at each other in silence.

"Any one you wanna explain what that's supposed to mean? Cos I sure as hell ain't about to sit here and try to figure it out."

Merle looks out the window and I turn my attention to Daryl as he runs his free hand through his hair, his skin dirty and a fresh cut on his cheek from the ordeal that happened at Woodbury.

"Hold on.."

Daryl sits up as Rick stops the car and Glenn and the others pour out, all of them serious. I open the door and jump out of the car, walking up to Rick and the others, Daryl standing beside me as Merle slowly joins everyone.

"So folks, what's the problem?"

"What the hell's he doing here?"

Glenn charges for Merle and Rick holds him back along with Maggie.

"Hey, hey!"

Rick tries to calm him down but his eyes are fixed on Merle who's laughing at the whole situation.

"He tried to kill me! If it wasn't for him-"

Daryl steps forward towards Glenn as his voice becomes angrier and louder, and I step in front of him, holding him back.

"He helped us get outta there!"

"Yeah right after he beat the shit out of you!"

  
I push Daryl back and turn around, annoyed at all the damn ignorance taking place.

"Daryl stop it!"

Daryl looks at me and slowly begins to stay back, but he’s still agitated.

"This isn't the time for this! We need to get everyone back to the prison and we'll talk about it then!"

Glenn stops and turns his back to you all, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Merle's staying.."

Daryl looks at Rick, as they both stare back each other, contemplating what to say.

"It won't work."

"It's gotta."

"It'll stir things up."

"I ain't having him at the prison."

As Daryl turns his back to Rick I grab his hand, pulling him back.

"Patient."

I look into his eyes and he settles down, so I turn to Rick.

"Merle is Daryl's family Rick.."

"My family is standing here and back at the prison. You're both part of that family. He's not."

Merle throws his hands in the air as he walks around in disbelief.

"Bunch of pussies ya'll are!"

"Shutup man!"

Daryl turns his attention to Merle as he continues to shake his head and grin mockingly.

We all stand there, waiting for a decision to be made. As Daryl raises his head, he steps back to join Merle's side.

"No him. No me."

"Daryl.. you don't have to do that.."

I freeze, and all I can do is stand there and listen.

"It was always Merle and I before this.."

 

Merle and I.

 

Glenn opens his arms towards Daryl, disbelief on his face.

"You serious? You're just gunna leave like that?"

"You'd do the same thing."

You hear Daryl's footsteps behind me as he walks away, and I watch as Rick walks towards him.

"Daryl. Hey! There's gotta be another way.."

Silence fills the air for seconds until Daryl's rough voice speak out.

"Don't ask me to leave him."

 

Don't go..

 

"I already did that once."

I clench my fists and slowly turn around, and as I start to walk towards Daryl my steps speed up and I head towards him.

"y/n..."

I push him with all my force and he watches me, not reacting to my aggression.

"You're not leaving me, you're not leaving!"

I repeatedly hit his chest as hard as I can as he looks down at me.

"He's my brother."

"You can't go!"

"I gotta go.."

"No!"

"I got to!"

He grabs my arms and looks into my eyes, stepping back as he does.

"Don't leave me.."

My mumbles are so quiet I can barely hear them myself.

He slowly lets go and steps back. Merle joins his side and I feel Rick's hand over my shoulder as they both make their way into the woods, Daryl staring back at me.

As they disappear in between the trees I inhale. I look down at the rough ground, and wipe my hand against my face hard. I turn to Rick, and raise my head to look at him.

 

"We can’t let him go... I’ll bring them back, when the timings right..”

"We know.."

 

I step back as I look around at Maggie, Glenn and Michonne.  
As I step back, Maggie smiles at me with tears and nods. I grab my pistol from my waist, and as I give them all one last nod .they all watch me.

I take one last look at Rick, and he nods.

"Goodbye Sheriff.."

And with that, I turn around and run through the trees. My breathes surround me and I feel both relief and unbearable pain at the same time.

"Daryl!"

I scream with all my heart, and as I look around through the trees, I see him and Merle walking in the distance.

"Daryl! Wait!"

He turns around and drops his crossbow, and he begins to run towards me. He spreads his arms and I wrap my arms around him, holding onto the back of his shirt.

"I can't stay.."

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer, as I bury my face into his shoulder.

We both stand there.

"You’re not leaving again.."

 

* * *

**7:35pm**

"And then this jackass almost got us both shot.."

The sun was gone so we had all settled around a fire which me and Daryl had set up, while Merle stood watching of course.

"What the hell were you guys doing on his property anyway?"

I was leaning my head against Daryl's broad shoulder as he cleaned his knife, while Merle was sitting opposite us both laughing.

"That old man was a big ol' pussy.. Not my fault his daughter wanted a piece of Merle over here."

I chuckle at Merle as Daryl shakes his head. I sit up and look at Daryl, tilting my head in confusion.

"So what were you doing there? Helping him do the 'deed'?"

Daryl looks up at Merle and he can't help but grin.

"Nah, I was just there keeping a lookout.."

"Lookout my ass. He was next door 'assisting' Old Fredrick's other daughter.."

"You’re so full of shit!”

Merle begins to laugh as Daryl throws a piece of wood at him, trying to avoid my gaze.

"Wow. Do you guys even remember their names?"

Daryl looks up at me and shrugs, looking up as he pretends to think.

"Anna? Lana? Somethin' like that.."

"You don't remember shit!"

"Like you do? You were too busy making her damn bed creak to ask for her name.."

Merle moves over to Daryl as he tries to pull him into a headlock, but Daryl pushes him onto his ass.

"You guys are terrible.." I watch as they both fight like 2 lion cubs, and I sit there shaking my head.

  
"Ah.. I gotta go take a piss.."

As Merle gets up and pushes Daryl with his foot, I give Merle a thumbs up.

"Lovely information. I'll write it down.."

  
As Merle walks away, I crawl over to Daryl and lie down, resting my head on his bag. I stare at the fire and I can feel him tensing up as he looks down at me.

"I thought you weren't gunna come with us.."

"You didn't ask me to.."

"Wasn't fair for me to.."

'Why?'

I turn onto my back and stare up at him. He looks at me for a while before looking away at the fire, the bright flames reflecting in his tired blue eyes.

"I don't know.."

"I couldn’t just let you leave, you’re part of us.."

I feel myself getting irritated so I inhale and close my eyes. I don't want to fight, I don't want to ruin the feeling being with Daryl brings.

"I couldn't let you disappear.."

I turn onto my side and close my eyes. I can hear the fire crackling as his slow breathes brush against my hair. Its silent right up until I hear Merle's footsteps and I raise my head to look up at him as he fixes his belt into place.

'’I haven’t pissed so much on years.."

He grins and sits down on the other side of the fire, laying on his back.

"Shutup man.."

I chuckle at them as I rest my head down again.

"If ya'll don't mind, I'm going sleep cos I'm not the type to groan in the morning like ya'll pussies.."

"Goodnight to you too Merle.."

I smile as he raises his middle finger over the fire.

"Love you too sweetheart."

As we both fall asleep Daryl sits there staring at the fire. When shes fast asleep, he watches her and slowly moves her hair out of her face, his rough hands brushing warmly against her cheeks.

"I wanted you to come.."

I smile and he groans at the fact that I heard.

"Its past your bedtime."

'You're such an old man..'

He smiles to the side of his face as he watches her fall asleep for real.

 

She's cute when she's not acting tough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND thats chapter 7!
> 
> I love writing this but if I'm honest the best part is giving the chapter a title. I don't know why but that shit makes me feel like I'm God, lolsies.
> 
> Also, Negan's going to be back in the story reeeal soon
> 
> like
> 
> reeeal soon.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, I love you all so stay safe! Kudos. Comments. Bookmarks. You know the drill.
> 
> -Taiza (^O^)


	8. Work something Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyoneee!
> 
> Chapter 8 is finally here!
> 
> I just want to start off by thanking everyone who leaves kudos and comments. I honestly love talking to you guys and I can't tell you how much it means to me. So thank you all.
> 
> So, this chapter is like a little road trip with Daryl and Merle. But you know how 'fun' and 'non-chaotic' road trips are.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

**17th August, 7:35am**

I flutter my eyelids open and look up at the blue sky and white clouds, passing by. I sit up and I can't help but wonder what Rick and the others are doing right now, if they miss us, or if they're wondering whether or not we’re safe.

I sit up and stretch my arms, making a meow like noise as I look around to see Merle laid out on the ground. God, he might be tough and all but how the hell did he survive this long with so much carelessness? Oh that's right, Daryl.

'Mornin' kid..'

I look behind as he crouches beneath the strings full of cans, messing up my hair as he walks past me, just typical Daryl taking the piss.

'Morning Dixon-'

I yawn loudly and he chuckles at me, and I can't help but fall back onto my backpack and groan. Its normal for me to wake up early, it just kinda became a habit.

'Shouldn't we wake him up?'

I gesture towards Merle, and I move as slow as a dying sloth.

But sloths are slow regardless?

'He starts bitching if I wake him up, let him.'

'Alright..'

I gather the strength to get up, and my head hangs on my body like its glued on. I stretch your back and look around, the forest actually looks kinda pretty in daylight, not that it looked scary yesterday because I was with Daryl, but you know.

The forest is so not what you were paying attention to last night.

'Shutup..'

'Huh?'

'Oh nothing..' I give him a soft smile, and he looks down at his boots before opening his mouth to speak.

'You were mumbling in your sleep.. something about vegan? or knee gone?'

He looks up at me and his comment catches me by surprise. I want to tell him about that day, I do. But that means he'd have to worry about me and question what happened, when really all you want is for it to go away.

'I don't know... probably just random stuff I mumbled.'

I walk around and try to act casual, stretching over and over, analysing the tin cans, plucking at the strings as Daryl watches me.

'Alright..' He turns his attention to the cans as he begins to bring down the string holding up the tins.

'You know, this is really smart..'  
  
I walk up to him and grab the tin cans, struggling to hold them all.

'Yeah, not useful to you though..'  
  
'What's that suppose to mean?

I glance at him as he raises his eyebrows mockingly and shrugs.

'You sleep like a rock..'

'No I don't!'

I push myself into his side and he chuckles softly to himself, I smile because I know it's damn true.

'By the way..'

I continue to detach the cans with a small smile to let him know I’m listening, because that's really important. Daryl already struggles with saying what he feels, so when he does, I want him to know I’m listening.

'We want you here..'

I look at him and my eyes widen and he watches me because I can't stop the grinning. That's all I needed, that little bit or reassurance from him that made make everything worth it. But I knew with or without it you would've come anyway.

'Fuck me..'

I switch around to look at Merle as he sits up grunting, and if I weren't with him the night before you would've thought he was recovering from a hangover.

'Morning Merle..'

Daryl looks at me and scoffs at my efforts because he told me about what an asshole Merle is in the morning.

'What time is it?'

I watch as he shakes his head and widens his eyes, trying to clear his vision as if someone just poured wateron his face or something.

'Who the hell knows what time it is nowadays?'  
  
I shake my head at him, he's so full of stupid questions.

'We should get going soon..'

I look at Daryl as he nods and continues to pack up your belongings into my small backpack.

'Eat something 'fore we go..'

He throws a small plastic bag full of berries to me and I catch it fast.

'You don't want any?'

I say as I pick up one and put it into my mouth, and then I pursue my lips into each other and the sour taste hits me.

'Sour?'

'Sour.'

Daryl chuckles as I slowly swallow, sticking my tongue out as a big shiver runs through me.

'Didn't like 'em. Way too damn sour.'

I nod in agreement. These taste like battery acid and bleach or something.

'I'll have 'em..'

I hand the bag over to Merle as he struggles onto his feet. You and Daryl both watch as he carelessly throws a bunch of them into his mouth and nearly gags at the taste.

'Yall fuckers trying poison me?'

'You idiot I said they were bad...”

As Merle spits out onto the ground I shake my head and swing my backpack onto my back and Daryl grabs his crossbow.

'Let's get going.'

'This tastes like sour donkey piss.'

'I told you, tough guy.'

 

* * *

**3:04pm**

'Daryl look..'

I point towards a car surrounded by walkers as I hear the loud screams of a woman echoing out. I see 2 men standing over another vehicle surrounded by walkers too as they lunge at them.

'Come on!'

I pull Daryl's sleeve as I start to run towards the vehicle, and a few of the walkers turn and stumble their way towards me.

'Clear it for me!'

I look at Daryl as he raises his crossbow and the few walkers slowly collapse around me. I rush through them and jump onto the cars hood, kicking at one of the walkers head as it falls onto its back.

'Piece of shit!'

I jump on top of it and sink the knife into its skull as its head falls limply to the side as I yank it out. I spin around and slice the nearest ones throat, and when I look over to the car you see one of them crawling through the open trunk of the car.

'Daryl there! Its inside!'

I turn away as Daryl grabs onto the walker, and as one of them lunges at me I duck to the side and kick its back, watching as it stumbles onto the edge and tumbles off the bridge.

'C'mon yall! Let them do it themselves!'

  
I turn around and stare at Merle, squinting my eyes as the sun hits down onto me.

'Thanks for the damn help!'

I walk over to the car and look at a woman holding a baby. She's crying her eyes out as she holds onto her child and looks back at me.

'Merle wait..'

I watch as he opens the back door next to me and looks inside the car, and I turn around as I hear the older man approach both of you.

'Afasta-se de mi carro!'

I look at Merle as he raises his gun up to him, and the man freezes in place.

'Slow down. That ain't no way to say thank you..'

He says it with a cynical grin on his face.

'No temos nada pare llevar. Quieres llevar el carro? El tanke esta vazio..'

I watch the man as sweat runs down his face.

'He said there's no gas in the car..'

Merle looks at me and tilts his head in confusion.

'You understand Mr. Burrito over here?'

I look at him, pissed off. This guy and he's jokes.

'Shutup..'

I grab the gun from his hand and Daryl walks over from the other side of the car, looking at the man.

'Then go..'

I watch Merle as he looks inside the car, searching for anything worthy to him.

'Well, the last thing they could do is give us an enchilada or somethin'..'

As Merle continues to search through the car, Daryl walks over behind Merle and aims the crossbow at his back.

'Hey!'

'Calma-te!'

I aim my bow at the younger guy as the man motions for him to stay back. I was already being nice, he better not test his luck.

'Get outta the car..'

Daryl pokes Merle's back with the tip of his crossbow and Merle stops.

'I know you ain't talking to me..'

'Get out.'

Merle slowly steps out, staring at Daryl as their eyes stay fixated on eachother.

As the guy steps forward so do I, pulling the arrow further back.

'No quiero lo matar, but be sure as hell I will if you make me.'

I stare into the mans eyes.

They both look at me and stay still, before flinching as Daryl turns his attention to them.

'Get your car and go!'

His voice is loud and demanding, and even if they didn’t understand I’m sure they got the message.

I lower my bow as the car drives off, turning my attention to Daryl and Merle who are now staring at each other with nothing but Daryl's crossbow in between them both.

Shit's about to get intense.

'You two..'

Merle pushes the crossbow out of his face and Daryl walks away, storming past me as Merle begins to follow him.

'Shit..'

I turn around and watch as they both begin to shout at eachother, so I decide you should give them space for now.

 

* * *

**3:20pm**

I stand by the road as you watch them shout at each other in between the trees. This was getting nowhere, they were both just blaming each other for anything and everything.

'You know what's funny to me?'

For fucks sake.

I start to walk over and sigh, watching as Merle raises his hand to Daryl's face with his fingers crossed.

  
'You and Sheriff are like this now.'

'Guys... this has to stop..'

I walk over to Daryl and when I’m about to get in between them both he blocks you with his arm, motioning for me to stay out of it.

'I bet you a penny and gold that you haven't told them you and I were going to rob that camp blind.'

They were planning to rob the group?

When Glenn or Rick use to tell me about Merle they use to say he was an asshole, but you didn't think they meant this. I thought they meant he just said things which assholes say, but I didn't think Daryl's brother was the type of person to take people's, which he knew, shit and run off.

'Daryl?'

I look at him as he continues to stare at Merle, clenching his jaw.

'Didn't happen.'

'Yeah it didn't. Cause I wasn't there to help you.'

'Like when were kids?'

They both get closer, staring at eachother with hatred in their eyes.

'Who left who then?'

'Is that why I lost my fucking hand?!'

'You lost your hand cause you're a simple minded piece of shit!'

As Daryl is about to turn away, Merle grabs his shirt and throws him onto the floor.

'Don't touch him!'

I push Merle hard and he trips back, and I raise my bow up at him. He's looking down at Daryl and there's confusion and sadness in his eyes.

'Daryl I..'

I lower my bow and look behind as Daryl gets up onto his feet, his scars exposed under his ripped shirt.

'I-I didn't know he was-'

'Yeah he did..'

I stare at Merle as my eyebrows scrunch with anger. How dare he touch him...

'He did the same to you... that's why you left first..'

'I had to.. i would've killed him otherwise..'

As Daryl grabs his crossbow and begins to walk, I turn around to follow him, and Merle watches us both.

'Where you goin?!'

'Back where I belong!'

I look at Daryl as he says that. Even though everything's intense, it makes me happy to know that he considers himself part of the others, because God knows he deserves it more than anyone.

'I-I can't go back there! I damn near killed that black girl! And.. I damn near killed that Chinese kid!'

You and Daryl both say the same thing.

'He's Korean!'

Merle squints his eyes at you both, frustrated.

'Whatever! It don't matter man! I-I just can't come with you..'

Daryl looks down at the ground before looking back up at Merle, pointing at him with an arrow clenched in his hand.

'You know, I may be the one walking away, but you're the who's leaving, again..'

And with that, we walk away together.

 

* * *

 **5:45pm**  
  
You'd both made your way back the prison, and we were a matter of minutes away as Merle dragged himself behind both of us. He didn't stay, he followed us both, and I was amazed at his silence because hell, this is Merle you're talking about.

'Aren't you gunna talk to him?'

'Nah, let him stay back there..'

I nod as we continue to walk, the warm sun looking down at us both. At least we made it just in time before sundown, because it would've been really damn awkward to have to sleep with Merle in the room.

I look ahead and I can see the prison gates in the far distance, but I couldn't see anyone up in the guard tower or near the gates.

'There it is..'

I sigh with relief and strap my bow across my chest. I were ready to fall into a real bed and sleep life away, and both Merle and Daryl look like they could both use some sleep.

'They won't let him in... I know it.'

I look up at him as he stares ahead, and I know that even though he said all those things to Merle, it's going to kill him to have watch him walk away.

'Just because he's won't live in the prison doesn't mean he can't be around..'

He smiles and looks aside at me, probably because you both know that would be hard to arrange.

'Who knows..'

I smile back slowly and my cheeks heat up from the sun, and he bumps his shoulder against mine softly.

'What do you reckon they're doing?'

'Eating probably..'

I jump with joy and twirl ahead of him, walking backwards as he watches me in amusement.

'Oh god, I can't wait to eat real food. I hope Carol's made that vegetable soup, or even some-'

A shot fires.

I slowly spin around to look at the prison. Daryl rushes over to your side and his eyes analyse the part of the compound he can see.

'What the hell was that?'

'I don't know. Stay close-'

'What the holy hell was that? Little Carl practising his aim or somethin?'

Despite the fact Merle is trying to be all funny about it, he's looking around like a deer caught in headlights, with no clue what's going on.

We all stay silent and stand there, listening for something else.

And it comes.

'Shit..'

I look at Daryl and my eyes widen as hundreds of guns begin to fire.

'C'mon lets move!'

Daryl grabs onto my hand and pulls me alongside him, and Merle follows behind. We all run among the dusty road and when we come up to the gates you see a group of men firing towards Rick and the others from the outside of the gates.

'We can work something out!'

I look at Rick as he stands near the hill, trying to reason with the Governor and his men.

'Shit, get down!'

Daryl pulls us both into the bushes and I grab onto the gates, staring down at the Governor until I hear an engine accelerating towards the gates from the duster toad.

'Fuck, isn't he going to slow down?

I stare as the truck continues to accelerate, and is it races past, it drags the entrance gates along with it, and everyones watches as it pulls to a halt in the middle of the hill. The back ramp falls onto the ground, and slowly, walkers begin to pour out and wander towards the group.

 

”Liar...”

  
The Governor is standing there, sword in his hand, Hershel beneath him. I watch as the sunlight glistens against the blade in the air, and after it’s lowered, Hershel’s expression changes, along with a deep, red splash across his neck, and as he falls onto the ground... I hear them scream, a small, frail scream from the top of the hill.

 

'S-shit..! W-we gotta go around, get close to them and-'

 

And gunfire starts again.

 

Daryl's voice slowly fades away as I watch the others scramble at the top of the hill, fighting desperately.

 

This is my fault. I let them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 *roll credits*
> 
> The season finale is just hours away and I'm honestly drowning in my own tears. We're going to see Daryl and Rick and Negan and I just can't. I'm staying up all night to wait for it to air.
> 
> Oh yeah, it hit me the other day that all the villains in The Walking Dead die right? So Negan, being a villain, should die. Right?
> 
> no.
> 
> I do not care that he killed Glenn and Ibrahim (as much as we love them) they can't fucking kill him.  
> They better find a way to make some sort of deal and live together and cook spaghetti everyday.
> 
> I'm not having Negan die.
> 
> Negan dies. We riot.
> 
> As always, leave kudos and comment!
> 
> Love you all and stay safe! (^O^)
> 
> -Taiza


	9. Circumstances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyonee!
> 
> Chapter 9 is in earlier than usual as a type of celebration to go with the season finale which just came out a few days ago.
> 
> This chapter is so sad like 'woah chill', but there's a cute moment in there cause I'm not trying to depress all of you.
> 
> Hope you enjoy~
> 
> -Taiza (•-•)

* * *

 

**17th August, 6:10pm**

'Beth!'

As me and Daryl run over to Beth, I grab hold of her and pull her into my arms.

'Its alright... its okay..'

She shoves her face into my chest as she continues to shake violently, small shaking breathes leaving her body too far in between.

I pull her away and hold her face, caressing her cheeks in an attempt to calm her.

'It's okay... I'm here. Just breathe..'

'D-daddy...'

'I know.. I know.'

As she takes a deep shaky breath, I look into her eyes and hold her shoulders.

'M-Maggie said I need to get everyone on the bus..'

'Then you do that. I'm going inside and I'm going to help Maggie find everyone okay? I promise.'

As she shakes her small shaking head I kiss it and turn aroundto see Daryl shooting down at the Governor's men, so I grab a nearby rifle and join his side.

'I gotta head inside!'

I flinch at the loud shots from my rifle as he continues to shoot, his grip firm.

'Just get on the damn bus!'

As the tank begins to move it slowly crushes the first set of fences to the ground, and as it jerks upwards a loud thud follows.

'Get down!'

Daryl grabs me and pulls me behind the bus, and you look up as one of the prison's towers explode and flames begin to consume it.

'I have to get everyone out of there!'

'You're getting on that damn bus!'

'I'm not letting them die!'

He shakes his head as he stares at the ground.

He can't let you go. Its fucking hell in there.

'Daryl...'

I grab his shoulders and look into his ocean blue eyes.  
   
'I'll be back. You know I will..”

His eyes peer out at me through his dirty hair, and as they look away he nods.  
   
'I'll see you soon.'  
   
 

* * *

 

**6:19pm**

I rush inside the cell block and look around as everyone rushes out, pushing each other desperately to get out as smoke clouds the room.

'Maggie! Where are you?'

I push my way through and wave the smoke out of my face as I struggle to focus.

Keep it together. We have people to save.

As you cough through the smoke, I see 2 people stumbling through the clouded air and I hear Maggie's voice through all the screaming.  
   
'y/n help me!'  
   
I rush over and look over at Maggie and Glenn as he struggles to stand, so I throw his arm over me and we both drag him towards the exit.

'We gotta get him on that bus..'

'I know... we're almost there..'

I stumble as I hear another explosion followed by screams, and as I reach the door I push it open and lead Glenn outside.

'Can you get him there?'

'Where are you going?'

'They're almost here, Im going to go help hold them off..'

As Maggie nods I turn around and run towards the guard tower.  
I duck through the gunfire and as I look down hill I see the tank halfway through the field.

'Fuck... they're almost here..'

I look around and search for Daryl, but he's nowhere.

There's no time! They're coming!

I bust the tower door open and rush up the stairs, holding onto the railings as my breathes become quicker and quicker.

As I reach the top I get on my knee and bring the rifle up to aim. I take a deep breath and look down at the men and women as they continue to shoot, without one bit of hesitation.

'Steady..'

I align your rifle with a mans head as he walks behind the tank.I close one eye, and slide my finger onto the trigger.

And then I pull it.

I watch as they all look up at me, and before they can react Ioad another round and shoot a woman in the shoulder and she falls to the ground.

'Up there! In the tower!'

I reload again and I’m ready to shoot, but then I realise that the tank's pipe is turning around to aim up to me.

'O-oh shit...'

I drop the rifle and grab onto the bars, swinging my legs over as I look down at the grass below.  
   
'y/n don't!'  
   
As I jump over the bars I hear Daryl's voice, but then I hear a loud noise behind you as pieces of metal fly past me.

'F-fuck!'

As I hit the ground, I feel a sharp pain hit my head.

And as I look up at the blue sky. Everything slowly fades to dark.  
 

 

* * *

  
**8:28pm**

I open my eyes and I watch as clouds of black smoke pass over me and a burning smell surrounds me.

What happened...

I sit up and look around and see the prison in flames as they reach up to dark the sky.

Endless groups of walkers stagger up the hill towards the fire and I watch. They don't notice me, they're too busy staring up at the flames as they consume the building wall by wall.

'D-Daryl..!'

I feel tears in my eyes as I hear nothing back but the moans from the walkers and the sounds of the building collapsing bit by bit.

'I-I'm here...'

I get up and start to make my way down the hill. I look at the collapsed fences, the tire marks on the grass, and I realise they're gone.  
They've left. And now I’m all alone and I have nothing. Daryl's gone and so is everyone else and now it's just me in what use to be home.

'They're gone... its too late..'

I step over the fences and begin to make my way through the dusty road me and Daryl had walked on hours ago.

Except this time I’m alone.

So I continue to walk through the road, the dark sky above me.  
It feels like I’m back to where I was before I met Daryl, I only had myself and I just kept going everyday, not questioning why. But it doesn't feel peaceful this time, it feels lonely.

And I miss him, I do.

But you're not going to cry.

There's no time for that.

  
 

* * *

 

**9:06pm**

I’d been walking for what felt like forever, and I was too tired to think about survival at this point. I just wanted to keep walking, and see where I’d end up. I can hear the river underneath the bridge as the waters softly crash against the rock, and I slightly start to appreciate the silence.

I’m walking along and my thoughts are interrupted by the sound of trucks coming towards me. I look behind and I see a pair of headlights not too far away, and I freeze as I hear men shouting from the back of the trucks.

 

'S-shit.. we gotta go..'

I turn around and begin to run, but before i take more than a few steps another truck stops on the other end of the bridge and I’m caught between headlights as I stand there.

I watch as the men jump off from their trucks, laughing among themselves.

I stand there, fists ready to punch any asshole who tries to touch me.

'Well would you look at that...'

  
   
No... no fucking way. 

 

That voice.

  
   
As 2 men walk over to me I step back, and when one of them grabs hold of me I punch his throat and he steps back gagging.

'Don't fucking touch me!'  
   
'Get her you useless fucks!'  
   
2 of the men grab onto my arms and as I try hard to break free, one of them punches my stomach and I fall onto my knees, struggling to breathe.'Here we are again, I missed your pretty little face..'

I look at the 2 black boots in front of me. I begin to shake and your eyes widen and my breathing becomes faster.

'Look at me...'

The wires on his bat feel cold against my chin as he brings my face up.

He's looking down at me with hunger in his eyes, like I’m an object, not a human being.  
   
'Don't want to speak? You sure had a lot to say last we met..'

'I don't speak if it's a waste of my breath..'  
   
His lips curve into a grin and his dark eyes stay fixed on me, and I can see the soft brown in them from all the lights around me. Even though they look lighter and softer, they still look as dark and deep as before.

'Still stubborn aren't you doll?'

He turns his back to me and leans the bat onto his shoulder.

'You see darlin', the last time we met you killed 2 of my men. And that is so not fucking cool.'

He brings the bat down and analyses it, but his grin is gone.  
   
'So you have a debt to pay. And judging by the looks of it you don't have any shit to give me.'

He walks over to me and stares down at me, raising his eyebrows.

'So me and you are going to take a little trip to wherever the fuck it is I'm going to take you, and you're going to pay for what you did..'

'I don't owe you shit..'

'Don't fucking interrupt me doll..'  
   
I want to retaliate, but I really don't have the energy to make things worst. I had already lost everyone, so theres nothing he can really take from me.

'You were really bad last time we met, you know?'

He bends down to my face, too close for comfort.

'And if I'm honest, I don't give a fuckless fuck if you have shit to pay with. I'm taking you anyway doll..'

'I'm not fucking going.. I don't care who you think you are. I'm not moving..'

'Wrong!'

He gets up and points the bat at me.

'Want to know why?'

He slowly raises the bat and stands there, smiling down at me.  
   
And then he brings it down onto me, and you're thrown onto your side as you lay there gasping for air.  
   
'That's why little doll.'

He stares down at me, laughing with amusement.

'I gotta say, we really gotta' stop meeting under these circumstances..'

As he walks away I lay there, pain shooting through me.

I think about Daryl and everyone else. I think about the day we all sat around the fire and listened to Beth sing. I remember looking across at Daryl who was focused on the fire, and I remember the moment he looked up at me and smiled before getting up and walking away. 

Except this time he's not coming back.

 

'Simon, get her into the van. It's gunna' be a real long trip.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *roll the credits*
> 
> Sooo, Negan's finally back!
> 
> I know he hits 'you' and everything but don't worry, he didn't aim for the face so your pretty little faces are all intact, don't worry.
> 
> But violence is always wrong and there's no excuse for anyone to do that, you're all precious and don't deserve anything like that. So don't ever think you deserve to go through something like that.
> 
> Leave kudos, comment and everything else!
> 
> Love you all and stay safe!
> 
> -Taiza


	10. Take

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybodyyy!
> 
> I'm so sorry for the late update. I just wanted it to be perfect since it's our first time in the Sanctuary.
> 
> On that note, were finally on chapter 10! Finally hit the double digits!
> 
> Anyway, hope you all enjoy!
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

 

* * *

 

**2 nd of September, time unknown.**

I’d been in this cell for God knows how long and I felt like I didn't exist anymore. It felt like I'd been put away into a tiny box and the world had forgotten about me.

That didn't sound bad; I mean, it's just the world. After what had happened at the prison, this means I don't have to deal with it all, I can sit here and not worry about anything.

But what does hurt is the fact that they had forgotten me. Daryl, Rick, Glenn... nobody thought about looking for me, none of them had found me and now I’m here in this shithole rotting away.

I get it. It was chaos when it all happened. But I was so close, I was there for them to see but yet I woke up and everyone was gone.

Did they even realise you weren't there?

“Get over it. Worry about getting out of here..”

My voice echoes throughout the cold cell, and I sit there in the darkness wondering what's to come. The only human contact I’d been receiving was the hand that occasionally dropped off the food, if you could even call it that. Id run out of things to do, and my mind seemed to get louder with every passing day.

_Can't get any worse._

 

“Open it up!”

 

Are you fucking kidding me?

_He's back? So hitting you across the head with a damn isn't enough, he's got to come back and say what? The bat slipped?_

“Just a chance for us to escape.”

The metal door slowly swings open and he's standing there, looking down at me with a grin across his face as his tongue slides across his bottom lip.

“Did you get to reflect on your behaviour, little doll?”

I stare up at him, and chuckle blankly.

“Yeah, the screams down the hall were really comforting.”

He looks down at the floor and laughs, before pointing his bat at the floor.

“I reckon that floor was a real son of a bitch to sleep on, so how bout' you come over to my room?”

“I don't like company.”

He bends down to me, grinning as his dark eyes stare into mine, and I feel an emptiness inside of me that makes me want to scream.

“Wasn't a question..”

He gets up and leans his hand across to me, and I stare at it.

He's got to be joking.

I look up at his face and before he can speak I get up on your feet, and as I walk past him he shakes his head, chuckling.

“Good God. You're like a goddamn Christmas present!”

He turns around and as I stand there he comes up behind me, bringing his lips close to my ear.

“How bout' I give you the grand tour of the place?”

I shiver as his breath hits my cheek, a cold breeze travelling down my spine.

_God, what's the deal with this guy? He's so freaking happy, is anything serious to him?_

As he begins to walk I follow him, two guards behind me as I look aside to see them staring at him with their hands on their guns.

We need wait it out.

He leads me up a flight of stairs and he whistles all the way through as the walls echo in return. As we reach the top, he pushes a grey metal door open, and I look around at the long concrete corridor. There's no windows or doors except for 2 big metal doors at the end along with a small cubicle where a fat man is sitting.

“Since that night, you still haven't told me your name darlin'...”

I stare at the back of his head, as he turns his head to the man who's busy distracted by some sort of comic book on his lap.

“Fat goddamn Joe!”

The young man jumps in his seat and stares at Negan with sweat running down his forehead as he tries to hide the book under the desk.

“G-Good morning Negan..”

He grins at the young man across from the small window and the young man begins to stutter. God, the poor guy, he's sweating all the water in his body.

“A-are you checking out this prisoner sir?”

“Prisoner? Prisoner?”

He tilts his head and the young man freezes, and I hear him gulp even with the glass between us.

“C'mon Joe, you didn't record this young lady's name? You know it's standard procedure so that makes me real fucking worried, and I can't help but wonder if you're fit for this job..”

“N-no sir I just didn't get the chance to the night she was brought-“

“Joe, Joe, Joe. Do you know how many people would kill to have this job? But instead, they're out there pissin' their pants, risking their lives to keep people like you safe…”

God, its pretty damn clear I was knocked out when I was dragged in here. Was he suppose to just tap my shoulder and ask 'hey I know you're unconscious but can I have your name please?'.

What a dick.

“I-I'm sorry sir I didn't mean to-“

 

“ y/n.”

 

Negan slowly turns his head to look at me, and as I purposefully stare at Joe, I freeze once again. I can feel his eyes burning into me.

I’m sure he's about to tell his guards to drag me back down to the cell, until he raises his eyebrows and turns to Fat Joe.  
  
“Ain't that a pretty name Joe?”

“I-it is sir...”

“Well then, you better write that down onto your little paper..”

“Y-yes sir...”

As he scribbles down the name onto his notepad, Negan watches him all the way through as poor Joe trembles throughout it all.

“D-done sir..”

“There we go! Wasn't so hard was it now?”

“N-no sir..”

“Well then, lets continue shall we doll?”

He turns around to look at me, biting his lip as he smiles. The two guards push the door open and he turns around with his bat on his shoulder, and he stands there as everyone in the massive hall kneels down and all the noise in the room disappears.

He begins to walk through the path the people have left clear.

Just for him.

What the hell? Do they all worship him or something? Even with all his assholery?

“Well come on doll. They don't bite.”

I walk over and he watches me with greed in his eyes, and when I stop in front of him he leans over to me and looks down at my lips, analysing them.

“See that? Cool huh?”

I furrow my brows and stare at him. He's talking to me while everyone is kneeling down, because it's not like everyone's freaking listening at all.

“You'll probably kill them if they don't.”

He smiles and looks around at the people, before shouting at all of them to get back to their jobs.

“As you were!”

The people all shuffle as he continues to walk over to an elevator at the end of hall and I stay close, the people continue to stare at me as they move about.

 

“She's the one who punched Simon”

“Didn't she kill Rodriguez too?”

“They brought her in quite a while ago.”

 

As Negan repeatedly presses the button, the elevator doors open, and he moves aside.

“Ladies first.”

“How kind of you.”

He bites his lower lip before stepping inside beside me. He waves his hand and dismisses the two guards as they're about to walk in and they look at him, confused.

“I'll handle it from here.”

“You sure boss?”

“I think I can handle little Miss Attitude here.”

“Yes Sir.”

They both nod and walk away as the elevator doors close.

Great. Not awkward at all.

He continues to whistle as he looks up at the numbers above the door.  
I look at him as he leans back and forth continuously, his bat dangling in his hand.

He's like a kid and a man at the same time, how can you even be both?

“y/n... isn't that lovely?”

“Let me go.”

“That's not happening doll.”

The elevator doors open and he stands there, looking to his side and I watch as his dark eyes focus on the floor, his tone lower and deeper this time.

“So you better get the fuck used to it.”

As he walks out into the corridor I stand there.

_This is it. We can just go right now! There's no guards and-_

So he can call his guards 3 seconds into our grand “escape”?

“Don't make me wait for ya~2

I hear his sarcastically happy tone and you slowly step out, walking past him as he watches me, smirking.  want to punch him in the face but my need is quickly interrupted by the two big doors in front of me with a golden handle. The handle seems out of place on this rough door, and as as I slowly push against the hard wood you look around the room.

I see a huge bed with curtains against the wall I came through and two black leather sofas in front of it, facing each other. There's a small wooden table in the middle and sun light is shining through the massive windows facing the couches. The curtains are long and see through, and they are waving slightly because of the cool wind entering the room. The floor is wooden and very well kept, compared to the rest of the buildings and the walls are also very well kept themselves. It’s a surprise, since I was expected a shithole to match his personality and demeanour, would’ve been fitting.

“Fancy isn't it?”

I ignore him and walk towards the couch, and I notice a book and a shot glass on the table.

“These weren't here when you got here right?”

“Just trinkets I found among other groups. I saw it, though it looked fancy as shit, so I took it.”

I turn your head to look at him, raising my brows.

“Other groups?”

He smiles and rests the bat against the small dresser beside the bed.

“Weaker groups. They're too weak to fight against us so we take their shit..”

God, what the fuck? So all this luxury comes from people who can't even defend themselves. And he sleeps knowing that this whole damn community feasts on others hard work? What a surprise.

“So you just take things from people who can't even put up a fight? What the hell is your problem?”

“Its not my fault they're weak, they should've sorted out their shit for the worst.”

“You mean you.”

He stands there looking at me, eyeing me from top to bottom.  
He starts walking over to me with his head lowered, and when he's standing a few inches from me, he raises his head to look into my eyes.

“Ill call a doctor to check up on you. Lucille did quite a bit of damage..”

He lifts his hand up to the side of my head and softly leans his thumb onto the wound. I watch as his face turns serious as he inspects the small smudge of blood on his finger, his expression serious and... concerned.

“Sorry kid... when I hold Lucille in my hands I forget how much damage she can do...”

“Lucille?”

“The beauty over there by the night stand.”

I keep my eyes on him and remember him placing the bat there a few moments ago.

“The bat is called Lucille.”

“Exactly that darlin'.”

He steps back and brings his radio up to his face, and groans at the static.

“Dwight, you on this piece of shit?”

“Yes boss.”

“Tell Doctor Johnson to get his ass up to my room.”

“Are you alright boss?”

“Nothing like that.”

“Is the prisoner with you?”

He looks at me and raises his eyebrows, smiling like the joker in the comic books Carl use to read.

“Hear that doll? Prisoner.”

I scoff and turn away, and make my way to the window. I look outside and see the entrance below, wired gates with a group of men on the inside as they patrol the compound. There's a long road leading off into the distance and I wonder where it leads.

Away from here, which is good enough.

“I've got her. Just send Johnson up.”

“Roger that.”

He straps his radio onto his waist and I hear his slow footsteps going towards the door.

“I just arranged for you a little appointment with the Doctor to get that checked up.”

He picks up Lucille and I cross my arms, staring at him.

“If you want a thank you. Its not coming.”

“Stubborn little kid.”

 

Daryl calls you kid... he's not allowed to-

 

I shake the thought away and as he stands there watching, so I take a step forward and look at the bat.

“Why did you name it Lucille?”

He looks down, biting his lip as he smiles.

'That..'

He looks up to me, grinning.

“Is a long, fucked up story.”

I stand there, unsure of what to say, so he turns his back to me but stops in place.

“By the way little princess...”

I stare at his back, waiting for him to finish.

“Don't try anything, it'll be pointless…”

 

“Cause' you're fucking mine now.”

 

  
And with that, the door shuts behind him.

  
Yours? We'll see about that.

 

  __

* * *

 

**12:05pm**

I look up at the clock next to the bathroom door. Its gold and he numbers are all twirly and fancy, and the hand keeps on ticking.

Then I hear a knock on the door and I look to see a tall man peering through as he opens it.

“Can I come in?”

“Oh, yeah..”

He walks in and closes the door behind him. He's tall and his blonde hair is sleeked back and glasses frame his blue eyes. He's those tall guys you see in the magazines, that look all elegant and flirty, except he looks like he's long retired and decided to save people's lives instead.

“Dr Johnson, lovely to meet you”

He reaches out to me and his hands are manly, and when I shake his my tiny little hand practically disappears into his.

“y/n...”

“Ah yes, I heard you put a quite a fight against our saviours?”

Yeah. I killed one too.

“Oh, yeah... I guess you could say that...”

His smile is kind and he's looking at me like I’m one of them, not the girl who killed one of their own and managed to escape.

“Well news for you, everyone knows about your arrival.”

He chuckles softly and walks over to the couches, placing his notepad down.

“sit?”

I hesitate for a moment, but eventually walk over and sit down, hands on my thighs as he begins to examine the side my head.

“Its not as bad as it seems. Just a few cuts from Lucille I'm guessing?”

“That a guess?”

“I think everyone's seen Negan use that damn thing...”

I smile and look up at him. He's not that bad. I was expecting some asshole who was going to patch me up to the minimum and tell me that the injury didn't mean laying about all day.

“Don't worry, we're not bad people once you get to know us. Even though with Negan it takes a little more effort to see that..”

“I'm guessing by a little you mean a lot.”

He chuckles as he leans back and opens a white plastic case, and takes out alcohol and a piece of cloth.

“You killed Rodriguez?”

I look up at him blankly, surprised by the sudden change in subject.

“Yes... I did.”

He looks at me before nodding as he carefully pours the alcohol over the cloth.

“Just wanted to hear it from you first..”

Oh, so now what? You're sure I'm a psychopath?

“It's nothing to worry about. He was a, shall we say, asshole?

YI smile and watch him lean the cloth against my head as I wince slightly at the pain.

“He was a problem to everyone. No one really cares, except the other assholes on his crew..”

I sit there silent, staring down at my thighs.

“But they won't touch you, they're not crazy enough. Especially since Negan’s putting in so much effort into you..”

I look up to him and he looks back, I look away. He continues to asses my injury and when he's done he picks up the his notepad and writes into it.

“Right, nothing major here. Just try to not sleep onto that side and you'll be fine.”

He gives me a warm smile and I get up, shaking his big hand.

“Thank you, for everything.”

He nods and makes his way to the door, and before stepping out he looks back at me his blue eyes emitting kindness.

“Rest up alright?”

“Sure thing, there's nothing else I want to do..”

We both chuckle, though I can’t say mine is genuine. And when he closes the door, and I stand there alone.

 

Escape time, time to get out of this shithole.

 

 

 

* * *

 

**8:13pm**

So the window was a dead end. There was no way I could jump out without breaking a leg or arm.

There were three freaking giant guards outside, and sure I could take them out with stealth, but if it turned into a fight, I couldn’t guarantee a win.

I could climb my way down, but one wrong slip and that’d be the end of me.

So the best option was to wait, because thanks to Johnson we now know everyone is eager to see you.  
So walking around the premises was way too damn risky.

“Give me patience…”

I lay down on the bed, still trying to think of all the possible ways to get the hell out of this place.

The sheets are black and silky and feel cold against my skin. The pillows are so damn soft that my head practically sinks into them and I almost relax for a moment.  
I can hear the crickets outside along with the cool air as the curtains sway slightly along the bedside.

“Pretty nice, huh?”

I breathe in all the luxury and peace. Even though I have no idea what this place has in store, it felt pretty nice to not have to worry about walkers and people trying to kill me. It was pretty close to peaceful.

  
  
And then I hear a knock.

“Little pig, little pig?”

 

The door glides open and Negan waltzes in, and he watches me as I sit up in a hurry.

“Resting are you princess?”

“Am I not allowed?”

He chuckles as he pulls a chair towards the bed and slowly sits on it backwards, resting his hands on the back.

“How's your little injury?”

He motions his eyes towards I and I tilt my head.

“You think we can just be best friends after what happened?”

“Best friends isn't really what I'd call it..”

I scoff and cross my arms as he sits there grinning. Yeah, lets act like absolutely nothing happened, because hitting someone with a bat isn't that big a deal at all.

He looks down at the ground for a few seconds before speaking, his tone serious and low.

“Did Johnson try anything?”

'Well yeah, he checked my injury and put alcohol on it or something.'

“I didn't mean that darlin'...”

“Well. He took care of it... it hurts less.”  
  
“Good, he did his job. Anyone around here tries to do anything that's not their damn duty you come straight me.”

“Why are you so protective? I killed one of you. So tell me, are you being protective, or cautious? Because if its protective then… why?”

He grins and his eyes turn that hungry dark I saw the night he caught me.

“Because you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen since the world went to shit. And I take what I want.

I look away, frustrated at him, and I can feel him watching me, clearly entertained with my annoyance.

“Tomorrow you're staying with me, gotta show all of those fuckers that you're not for them.”

“They know I killed one of your men?”

He gets up and grabs Lucille, standing there as he looks down at her before answering me.

“Don't matter. None of them would dare to fucking touch you.”

I look away. What if those assholes are planning something? I dare them come up here, see what happens.

“hey, doll?”

I look up to him, distraught.

“Don't worry your pretty little head. Alright?”

He swings the bat around as he smiles before turning away, walking to the door with all the damn patience in the world.

“See you in the mornin' princess.”

I watch him close the door and you fall onto your back, releasing all the oxygen in me as I close my eyes.

I’m not suppose to be here. I’m suppose to be with Daryl.

_Oh... Daryl._

I feel a giant emptiness inside me as I curl up into a ball. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be wherever he was, even though we had no home anymore, he would make it all feel better in his own way, and it would all feel better. I’d would have hope.

I feel tears stream down my cheeks as I try to muffle my breaths, my heart pounding against my chest. I can feel your throats tightening up as I realise he's not here to hug me, to make it feel as if in the morning it was all going to be okay because he was with me.

Why did you leave me there. Why didn’t you come back?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10! (We're having a problem with rolling the credits)
> 
> So the 2 lastest episodes haven't shown Negan, and I'm literally crying because they're keeping him from us.
> 
> Because 3 months wasn't enough.
> 
> And can we talk about the Daryl and Carol reunion? When she saw him and he just shoved his face into her shoulder I couldn't. 
> 
> I drowned in my own tears.
> 
> And holy shit that wire-zombie scene with Richonne? They are honestly my dream. If my husband is anything less than Rick it's a no.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Kudos. Bookmarks. Comments.  
> I feed of them so please feed me.
> 
> Stay safe! (^o^)
> 
> -Taiza!


	11. Sad Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my little cupcakes!
> 
> I'm sooo freaking sorry that I didn't update for so long. Ive just been busy with studying for my exams because I really can't fail them, but I promise it won't happen again.
> 
> Buuuut we finally got to see Negan again in the series! And can we talk about how sexy that shot with Dwight getting beat up and Negan standing there was?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter with Daddy Negan (*O*)
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

  
**20th August, 7:13am**

Oh god... this bed is like heaven.

As you roll onto your back you stare at the plain ceiling, blinking as your vision begins to clear up. You sit up and look at the open window from yesterday, the soft curtains swaying as the sun outside is shining brightly and its rays are splattered all over the floor.

'Ugh... we better get ready. Someone's gunna come up any minute...'

You swing your legs over the massive bed and get up slowly.  
The birds are chirping outside and you walk over to the window to see a bunch of people hanging around 2 trucks and a van, probably preparing to go out.

_We could sneak into one of those vans you know, slip out when no ones looking._

'Good idea, Ill give you that one..'

You turn around to the couch and sit down, slipping on your shiny black combat boots. You tie them roughly and as you get up, you straighten your white tank top and pull up your light blue jeans as the rips rise up to your knees, where they're suppose to be.

You walk over to the mirror on the other side of the bed and you take a good look at yourself. You straighten out your hair and tuck one side behind your ear, and then you bring your attention to the necklace resting on your chest.

_I still have mine, ya' know..._

  
Its a pure clear tiger's fang holding onto a black thin necklace.

You remember when you and Coraline found them, she told you she had wrestled a tiger and gotten them for both of you.

And that you could say you helped her fight too.

'Hello?'

You hear a knock on the door so you walk towards it and open it slightly to see a slim man with a mustache towering over you, his mustache curving along with his lips.

 

Oh crap... it's the man I punched back at that town.

 

'Remember me?'

'Yeah, definitely.'

'Names Simon.'

He gives you a kind smile so you smile back slightly not to be rude.

_After all, you kinda owe him._

He chuckles and shakes his head before leaning back.

'Well let's go kid, got a big day ahead of you.'

You tilt your head slightly and stand there for a few moments as your mind flips through everything bad that could come. And your mind specifically stops on the thought of Negan, Lucille in his hand as he leans back laughing.

You realise your standing there staring off into space, so you step out and close the door behind you before following Simon into the lift.

'So you slept in there huh? You better consider yourself damn lucky..'

You step into the elevator beside him and look at him as he reaches over to the ground floor button.

'For what? Getting hit in the head with thats Lucille thing?'

He shakes his head as he chuckles, and you stand there waiting for him to answer.

'You killed Rodriguez and you got to sleep in a bed. The best bed there is in the Sanctuary..'

Is he holding a grudge? I mean, it was self defence. You didn't hit him in the jaw on purpose, you just weren't about to get dragged into that van and taken to God knows where.

And yet here we are.

'Hey kid...'

He turns around to you as if he can read your mind and gives you the least creepy smile you've seen so far.

'No hard feelings alright? Negan sees potential in you, so just play nice with everyone alright?'

You look at him, not sure what to say.

'Yeah? C'mon, you dislocated my jaw but can we put it all in the past?'

You nod slightly, surprised by his spirit.

'Alright, it wasn't personal..'

'Course kid.'

He smiles just as the elevator doors slide open, so you walk alongside him as all the eyes in the hall turn to you. The loud noise you heard before you stepped out of the elevator has now turned into low whispers, and as you finally reach 2 red metal doors Simon leads you outside and you wait as he slides the doors closed.

The ground is rocky and gravels all over it. The sky is clear and the wind is calm, a relief since you're not wearing anything but your tank top. You look ahead at the wired gates and you recognise the trucks that you saw from upstairs, so when Simon leads you over to the crowd you hear Negan and his optimistically sarcastic voice.

'And you follow all the orders that I throw at you, that clear to everybody?'

'Yes Negan!'

'Alright... Lets get this show on the road!'

As the crowd scatters there's no one between you and Negan, and his eyes instantly land on you.

'Ah, Goodmornin' doll face...'

He walks over to you and leans down to your face, and you don't look away. You just stare at him because if he wants to make you uncomfortable, he'll have to try harder than that.

'What are we doing?'

'We? I like the sound of that.'

He chuckles as he bites onto his lower lip and you sigh, determined not to lose your patience.

'Where are we going Negan?'

'Out. Ain't that obvious doll face?'

He smiles and walks over to his van, opening the door as he throws Lucille inside and steps onto the high step of the van, looking around at his men.

'Alright, time to get the fuck on with it folks!'

You look around as the men all begin to climb into trucks, and you spot a girl in the middle of the crowd so you decide to ride in the same truck as her, seeing as she's the only female around and you probably have more things in common than all these giant looking men.

You take a step forward and you head to the truck, but you freeze when you feel the cold leather of Negan's glove grab onto your arm.

'You're riding with me.'

He pulls you towards the van and you pull away from him, scoffing as you bump past him. You swing the door open and climb inside, slamming the door closed as hard as you can.

You cross your arms and stare at his back through the side mirror as he stands there chuckling at how annoyed you are.

God. He's so irritating. You really want to punch him in the face right about now. Who does he think he is? He better fuck off with this whole 'Negan is the boss' act because you're not following it.

But, atleast we won't have to ride with a bunch of people who know we killed someone... atleast in here it's just you and him. And honestly, you can just pretend he's not there.

He sits into the drivers seat and closes the door, turning the keys with all the patience in the world.   
He takes off his glove and throws it onto the dashboard, glancing over at you with a smirk on his face.

'Ready princess?'

'You can't imagine it.'

You give him the most sarcastic smile you have. Since he wants to play around, you'll play along too.

He laughs and the van begins to move through the open gates, and you stare at the walkers as they desperately reach for the vehicles, unable to move from all the chains and wire wrapped to them.

'You use them as defence?'

'Thats the idea darlin'...'

'Its kinda smart..'

His eyes are fixed on the road and he's smiling at your comment, entertained with your sincerity.

I'm really starting to hate road trips.

 

* * *

 

**7:40am**

You're staring at the trees along the highway, turned away from Negan.

He hasn't spoken yet, surprisingly.

You look over at him and he's got one hand on the wheel and the other is resting outside the window as he continues to whistle.

And then he suddenly stops.

He lifts his head off the backrest and smiles slowly, as if he was waiting for you to turn around.

_He's so weird._

'Tired of looking out the window?'

'Tired of thinking about where we're going.'

'Don't worry little princess. Nothing special.'

'I want to know now.'

He begins to smile, running his free hand through his air before turning to you with a cynical grin on his face.

'You're an eager little one aren't ya?'

'I just think it's smart to know where someone is taking me. Who knows where we could be headed?'

'You worried now? That it doll?'

'Please. I can escape anytime I want... All I have to do is try.'

He's expression becomes serious and his posture becomes more tense, and you can see his jawline tensing up.

'Don't fucking joke about that doll. I told you you're mine and I sure as hell weren't kidding.'

'What is your problem? I'm not!'

He stays silent.

You turn your head to the road and scoff. He's so damn difficult to deal with. He talks when you don't want him to and silent when you want answers. Just perfect.

You stare at the road as the trees flicker by, and suddenly you spot a small black ball on the road. As you get closer you notice the the furry tail attached to it, and then you realise it's an animal and-

'Negan stop!'

He slams on the break and your body slams against the dashboard while he barely moves. You feel your bones in your arm move as your whole body slams onto it.

'C-crap...'

You feel pain in your arm as you practically just crushed it underneath yourself. It hurts. It's bearable but you can't help but wince a little.

'Shit... y/n...?'

  
'I'm fine...'

He pushes the van door open and rushes to the other side of it, swinging the door open as you struggle to sit up. He slides his arms around you and picks up into his arms, sitting you on the small step on the van.

'What the hell happened?'

One of men look to you for an answer, and you look up at him off guard as you struggle to make up an excuse.

Everyone's walking over to both of you as you sit there analysing the slight scratch and redness on your arm. You look up at the men and they look really pissed off, and you open your mouth to speak as they all stand there.

'I saw a-'

'Right folks. Split into 2 teams, right now..'

As the men shuffle about Negan leans over you to grab Lucille.

'You sorry fucks are going to take a look at those cabins over there..'

He points his bat at the ranch in the fields. There's a forest behind them so you can't see beyond the long stretch of grass, only the house and trailers gathered in the middle of the land.

'Gather anything that looks shit-your-pants fancy. And for Gods sake gentleman. Don't fucking die!'

As the men grab their weapons they start to make their way towards the cabins, and you see the girl from before with a rifle in her hand, analysing the field.

Negan turns to you and lifts your arm, analysing the scratch marked across it.

'God dammit y/n... why the hell did you scream like that. Scared the damn shit out of me.'

'I-I didn't want it to die, besides, its not that serious.'

'Next time, let's just put the poor thing out of its misery, all right doll?'

Great. You must look so damm tough screaming out to save a raccoon. I mean wow, what a badass.

You look down at your arm and his radio begins to crackle with static.

'Boss, we got a uh- situation here. Could use a hand.'

He brings the radio up to his face as he rolls his eyes at you, and you giggle slightly.

'Walkers type situation?'

'Yes Sir.'

He sighs before looking over to the field.

'Alright, I'm coming over.'

He motions towards the girl to stay close to you, and while she walking over he turns around to you and holds your chin, bringing your face up to his.

'Sorry doll, those assholes can't do their jobs y'know?'

'You should be out there helping them. That's what leaders do..'

He looks down and bites his lower lip before getting up.

'That right?'

He turns to the girl and she smiles at you, which surprises you because she looked so serious earlier.

'Arat will take care of you.'

He turns his back to you and signals the few men who stayed behind to follow him.

'Lets go do your jobs!'

You watch as he heads down the hill, men behind him.

You turn your attention to Arat, who's standing there watching.

She's actually pretty in a way. Her short brown hair is swept up into a half bun and she has a slit in her eyebrow. Her eyes are dark brown and she has nice full lips, and her jawline is as sharp as a knife.

'So you're Negan's new pet?'

She turns around to look at you, lowering her rifle.

'Pet? Is that what they're calling it?'

She chuckles and leans against the van, staring towards the hill.

'You bet.'

You look up at the sky and there's dark clouds passing by above you, and the wind is slowly getting stronger.

'Don't worry though, no one's out to kill you. People were actually really glad he died.'

'If I say that makes me feel better does that make me evil?'

'Makes you an asshole..'

You both chuckle softly as static crackles through her radio, and she continues to ignore it.

'Guess we're all assholes though. His 'funeral' was more of a celebration of you ask anyone..'

'He was hated that much?'

'If you put it nicely, yeah.'

'Wow... I thought Doctor Johnson said that to make me feel better..'

she looks off into the distance, jawline clear and sharp.

'He went around causing trouble for everyone, he use to be behind any fights that took place among us..'

You nod at her as rests her rifle down, scoffing at the thought of him.

'You did a public service.'

She gives you a cheeky smile and you chuckle to yourself.

'Good to know I'm helping out..'

You both stay there for a few moments, and then gunshots fire from the small ranch and you get up, trying to see what's going on.  
  
'We should head down there-'

'You need to stay here.'

'They need help..'

She looks at you for a few seconds, and then turns her attention to the ranch. She sighs before pulling out a knife and handing it to you.

'Here. Don't die or Negan will kill my ass alright?'

You take the knife and as the gunfire becomes louder, you start to run down the field as the tall grass hits against your legs.

_Why are we helping them?_

I- um... I'm trying to gain their trust. Isn't it obvious? The more they trust me the easier it'll be to escape.

_That better be why._

You jump over the wooden fence and so does Arat. You press your backs against the barn house and you try to slow down your breathes.

'Go around and distract them, ill come up from behind and kill them off.'

'Take your time, I've got all the bullets in the world.'

She grins before getting up and disappearing as she goes around the corner of the barn.

Alright. We can do this, we've done it before.

As you hear Arat screaming along with her rifle, you make your way to the other side of the house and look around the corner to see the men fighting off walkers.

Where did they all come from? What the hell... the place looked clear.

You look over to the stable and run for it as the walkers all turn to  Arat, a few of them falling to the ground.

  
You climb the wooden building and then you see them all.

 

You can see Negan fighting them off in the middle, his men firing everywhere as the walkers continue to grab hold of them.

You run towards the edge and jump down onto one of them, jamming the knife into its skull. You pull out the knife and when you look up there's already another one lunging at you, so you get up and as it's about to grab onto you, you move out of the way, kicking the back of its knees as it falls onto the ground.

You smash your combat boot against its head. Over and over again until all you can see is a red mush all over the floor.

_H-hey.. you can calm down you know..._

You spin around and grab the nearest walker and slam its head into a log nearby, and when you spot an axe laying beside it, you pick it up and continue to slice through every walker you see in front of you.

You can hear the gunfire all around you but you don't pay attention to it. You can't stop. You're too angry to stop.

You kick the last walker into the nearest wall and bury the axe into its head, and as you step back it stays there... hanging limply between the axe and the wall.

You look at your reflection in the mirror of the window beside it: your face is covered in blood, your hair is falling over your face and there's dirt all over your chest. The only part of you you recognise is your eyes, but the expression in them is like something you've never seen before.

You hear slow claps behind you, and Negan's low laughs break out behind you.

'Well holy fucking hell.'

You turn around slowly, and everyone's looking at you as Negan walks over to you, clapping as he tilts his head.

'Aren't you a little psychopath in the making?'

He starts to grin and you watch him, your breathes still fast from all the action.

Why can't he just stop? Does everything have to be a joke to him?

'Now...'

He spins around and spins Lucile by his side, looking at the floor as he begins to walk in front of his men.

'Would one of you useless fucks explain to me why it is that this girl just killed more walkers than all of you?'

The men stay silent, all they do is watch him, not daring to look away.

'Would you look at that, fucking silence. You're all so fucking loud back the sanctuary, why not speak up now?'

He stands there with Lucille on his shoulder, and his expression suddenly turns serious.

He stands there for a few seconds before shouting at them, the younger saviours flinching with fear.

'Gather everything you find! Double fucking time!'

As the men start to look around the ranch, you turn away from him and walk towards the forest.

You can't explain what happened back there... you've killed like you never did before. You usually feel sorry for them, you wonder who they use to be. But not today. Just then, the only thing you felt is hatred and anger.

You keep walking through the trees, but then you look ahead to see a big empty space in the forest, trees surrounding it. You walk over and you gaze at the massive lake, and the water is so clear you can see the fishes swimming freely.

Look at them. Life hasn't changed for them, their world is exactly the way it was before, and you wish yours was still the same too.

But it isn't... Daryl's gone and you don't know if you'll ever see him again. Its been days since you last saw his face, and it scares you to think you'll only ever see it in your memory, or that you'll forget the small details like the bags under his eyes and the small spot near his nose, and even the way his hair smells like the earth itself.

'What was that back there?'

You hear Negan's voice and turn around surprised, and when you look at him he's already smiling, so you look away.

'Do I make you nervous princess?'  
  
'N-no... I...'

You feel tears in your eyes so you try to blink them away, but you can tell he's looking at you as you stand there, struggling to control the big mess of feelings inside you.

He keeps looking at you which only makes it worse.

Can he stop staring at me? God, atleast say something or go the hell away.

You can feel your tears trying to escape your eyes and as you try hard not to cry, he holds your chin and brings your face up to his.

You can feel your body tensing up as he looks down at you, his dark eyes staring back at yours.

You want to move away but your body freezes. You don't want to be this vulnerable to the person who took away the chance of you finding Daryl.

'Look at your darlin'... you've got the saddest eyes I've ever seen..'

You stay quiet as you continue to stare at his chest which is covered by a white t-shirt and his black leather jacket.

You feel a tear run down your cheek so you step back away from him, wiping it away quickly.

He watches you and sighs, and for a moment he genuinely looks concerned.

 

But it soon disappears.

 

'Listen doll... you risked your live for my men. And it ain't bout' to pass by unnoticed..'

His dark eyes stay fixated on you.

He's actually quite handsome when you think about it. His eyes are so calm and he's skin is so smooth, not to mention the way his black hair is slicked back, contrasting his silver beard.

'So quit being so fucking distant, alright princess? This is your home now.'

'What do you wasn't from me Negan?'

He looks down at the ground and chuckles as he begins to step closer. He brings his face close to yours, and he looks into your eyes with a cynical smirk across his face.

'What I want from you babygirl, can't be satisfied that easy...'

You furrow your eyebrows and curl your hands into fists. You wouldn't mind punching him right now, not the slightest bit.

'Actually... it can't be satisfied at fucking at all..'

He stands there smirking, amused by how freaking annoyed you are.

Does he get a thrill out of this? You'd think he has better things to do.

He looks up at the sky as raindrops start to fall down around you, and he slowly sighs as he begins to take of his leather jacket.

'Goddammit doll. Next time wear some fucking clothes don't you?'

'Are these not clothes on me?'

His arms wrap around you and your caught between the jacket and his chest as he hangs it onto your shoulders.

Your cheeks turn a soft red and you look down at your combat boots, refusing to give him the reaction he wants. But when you think of it... he's really warm, and you even feel a bit welcomed by it..

You realise he's just standing there, taking advantage of the moment so you pull away as soon as you hear one of his men.

'Boss, you're gunna' want to see what we just found..'

He sighs and turns around to face the man, and he rests Lucille up on his shoulder as he begins to rub his temple.

'Get her to the van.'

You scoff at him at his back as soon as the words come out of his mouth.

'I can take myself. I don't need your escort.'

He begins to walk away before turning around to face you one last time.

'Probably true..'

Here it comes.

'But I'm the one who gives orders around here little doll.'

You cross your arms as he continues to walk back to the ranch.

'And Victor, anything happens to her and I'll burn your damn face off!'

He laughs as he disappears into the trees.

What a dick.

You turn your attention to the guy standing there awkwardly as he stares at the ground, scratching the back of his head.

'Um... nice to meet you.'

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *roll credits*
> 
> And that's the finally-updated chapter 11! I hope you guys like it.
> 
> Oh, and can you believe the cast was here in London yesterday? And I only realised today.
> 
> Yes. I want to cry. No. Nothing can make it better (unless Jeffrey and Norman show up to my house.)
> 
> Anyway, love you all and stay safe!
> 
> Kudos. Comments. Bookmarks. You should've memorised it by now.
> 
> I'm off to watch the newest episode!
> 
> -Taiza


	12. The Devil Can Be Kind Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybodyy!
> 
> Can I just say that Chapter 12 is looking lit as hell. Like: Negan x reader everywhere. With a sprinkle of jealousy and real conversations.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter's normal, Negan, new characters, all of that good stuff.
> 
> So I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

 

**21st August, 11:17am**

You came in yesterday exhausted and went straight to bed. The fact that Daryl was gone was getting to you more than ever, and you didn't want to think about it. It would turn you into a mess and you can't afford that in this place, not if you wanted to escape.

So, you took off your bloodied clothes and climbed straight into the 'best bed in the sanctuary', wearing nothing but the t-shirt. You went to sleep and tried to shove all thoughts of Daryl away, which quite honestly, took a good few hours.

'Still here...'

You mumble to yourself as you stare up at the ceiling, and for a few moments you just lay there, waiting for your motivation to show up. But it doesn't.

Get over it. Sitting around here isn't going to make it any better. If we want to get out of this place I better get up and do something about it.

You snap out of your thoughts when you hear a low laugh coming from beside you.

You jump up and you stare at Negan as he stands there chuckling at you, his dark eyes sparkling with entertainment.

'So now you're going to watch me sleep too?'

You sit up and cover yourself with the silky blankets, because you're only wearing your freaking t-shirt and he's standing right there looking at you.

'This is my room missy. So I can do what the hell I want here..'

'Your room?'

'Uh-huh. You got it.'

You squint your eyes and tilt your head, confused by this act of 'kindness'.

'Then why are you letting me stay here?'

'Do I look like I'm going to let you sleep down where all those fucking men sleep?'

You swing your legs over the bed and inhale. It was unfair to talk about them look this. Sure, you didn't really know what these people were like, but from what you've seen it, they're actually nice.

Considering the fact you freaking killed one of them.

'You shouldn't say that...'

You look up to him and his brown eyes are studying you, his teeth biting into his lower lip softly.

'These people go out there and risk their lives, to keep everyone safe. You should be a little nicer to them..'

He raises his eyebrow and leans back in surprise, taking in what you say.

He keeps looking at you, so you look away and of course, he comes up to you, face to face, demanding your attention. Your eyes meet his and you feel your cheeks heating up as you look into his big brown orbs which are reflecting the sunlight in the room.

'Aren't you a little angel?'

He smiles and holds your chin for a few seconds, before straightening himself and leaning his hand towards you.

'Now, how bout' you and me spend some quality time together? Get to know what gets on each others nerves or all of that mushy shit?'

You stare at his hand and as you hesitate, his expression turns serious and you feel slight scared. He switches from freaking 'ray of sunshine' to 'I'll bash your head in with Lucille' just by changing his facial expression. And it starting to get scary.

'Something tells me you don't think all that is important?'

You lean your fingertips onto his palm and he pulls you up against him, his other hand holding your lower back.

'Depends darlin'. I wouldn't mind knowing what pisses you off... so I could do it to see that little face of yours get annoyed..'

You roll your eyes and pull away, walking away from him. God, you really didn't want to deal with his sarcasm this early in the morning, even though he was clearly enjoying yours.

'I'll meet you outside in 10. How that sound?'

'Do I have a choice?'

You glance over your shoulder at him as you fumble through the drawers. You don't know why your looking through these... the clothes are a Negan's, but you just need to look busy so you don't have to face him.

'Getting the hang of things already... I'm really starting to fucking like you princess..'

You give him a sarcastic smile as he curves his lips, watching you.

'I'll walk you to the hall, breakfast's on me.'

He grins and you watch as his dimples appear, and when you roll your eyes he turns towards the door and shuts it behind him.

You sigh and look down at his clothes.

Well damn, this stuff might actually do.

You pick out a white t-shirt along with a red flannel. You reckon it would be stupid to even try on his jeans so you look down at your own and only see a few blood stains, so they're not that bad.

 

  
**11:35am**

When you shut the door he's already standing there, analysing you.

'Well shit, you might just look better than me in my own damn clothes..'

'Thank you.'

You smile sarcastically and walk past him, brushing your shoulder against his.

As you both enter the elevator you can feel him looking at you from the corner or your eye.

'Ground floor doll..'

You look up to him and scoff, and as you lean over to press the buttons, you can see him watching you in the reflection of the button panel, a wide grin on his face.

He whistles throughout the whole way down, and when the elevator doors spread, people get up from their sits and kneel to the floor, their heads bowed.

'See that doll?'

'I'll see it when they bow out of actual respect Negan...'

You flash him a serious look and walk through the crowd as he follows you in exaggeratedly slow steps.

'As you were!'

They all stand and return to their seats, and even though the noise increases its not even half as loud as it was the doors were opening.

'y/n! Over here!'

You see Arat getting up from one of the tables in the centre so you make your way to her, the men with her all watching you as you do so.

'Let me guess, I can't sit with you?'

'Shutup and sit your ass down..'

You both laugh and the men shortly join you, but their expressions turn more serious as you hear Negan's low voice behind you.

'I've got shit to do.. so I'm afraid I've gotta go help these assholes do their jobs...'

You turn around to face him and he's closer than you think, so you look up at his bearded face and hazel eyes, that are fixed on you.

'Get some food into you, alright?'

'I'm stubborn but I'm hungry too. And I think I'll pick food...'

He looks away and chuckles before his eyes make their way back to you.

'I'll meet you later, I need to talk to about a few things...'

He didn't swear... sounds serious.

'Is it about Rodriguez?'

'No one gives a fuck about that doll.'

He smiles at your concern, but then you spot a darkness in his eyes as he clears his throat to speak.

'Any of these fuckers try anything, you come straight to me. That clear?'

'I think I can handle-'

'I said is it clear.'

You stare up at him before nodding slowly, and for some reason you feel as if he meant it, not like the other times you were among these people and you felt like they wanted to rip you apart and that there was no one to protect you but yourself.

'Y-yeah... sure..'

He smiles and you roll your eyes.

Gosh he was annoying, acting like you hadn't taken care of yourself since the world went to shit.

'Alright, see you soon little princess.'

'Goodbye. Mr. Negan.'

As he walks back he grins at you, entertained by your sarcasm. Then he turns his back to you and when he's finally out of the room, the noise level rises.

'Boss likes you? Nice start.'

You look at the guy sitting opposite Arat as he raises his eyebrow at you. He's quite muscular and tall, and you can see it even through his clothes. His hair is brown and slicked back away from his thick eyebrows. His eyes are brown and they are glistening in the light, and his lips are nice and full. His jaw is nice and defined and you can't help but think he's really good looking.

Like, really handsome actually.

'Is it a good thing that he likes me?'

You take a seat next to Arat and look across at him, raising your eyebrow too.

'Depends what he wants you for..'

'God, please don't turn into one of his wives...'

Arat scoffs and picks away at her leftovers in disgust, and you stare at her confused.

'Wives?'

'Yeah wives. All they do is sit around and look pretty in their little black dresses.'

'You mean he literally has wives?'

'You fucking bet.'

You widen your eyes in surprise and disgust too. Of course he has wives, and here you were thinking he couldn't be more an asshole than he already is.  
  
'Anyway, this is Ezra. He's pretty much the best fighter we have here..'

He laughs quietly at the statement and you look down at his long eyelashes.

'Well, I'm y/n... the one who killed Rodriguez..'

'It sounds like you've said that quite a couple of times..'

You both look at each other before laughing to yourselves. He was serious and nice at the same time, which is really not what you were expecting from anyone.

'There's a party going on tonight, you're coming right?'

Arat looks aside at you as you look at Ezra for a clue as to what party she's talking about.

'Oh, for what?'

'You think we need a reason? Its just for fun.'

Ezra laughs before taking a sip from a nearby bottle.

'If we needed a reason we'd be waiting a long time. The world's gone too shit...'

You sigh and stare off into space, and when you start fiddling with a nearby fork you realise Ezra's watching you.

'Something on your mind y/n?'

'What? N-no... I just agree.'

He grins slowly before looking away, and when you feel yourself  
blushing, Arat gets up and pulls you along with her.

'Well, today the saviours have no runs so have fun working. I'm gunna show her around...'

'Alright, I'll see you guys later..'

As Arat starts to walk towards the doors, you turn around and wave at Ezra, and as he flashes a small smile you turn around and your cheeks heat up, and you try your best to not trip when catching up to Arat.

_He's so cute. I'm sorry. I had to._

'You're to young to have an opinion...'

 

* * *

**2:35pm**

You and Arat are both walking along the fence outside when you see vans drive through the gates.

Negan's van.

'I thought the saviours didn't have runs today?'

'Negan does what he wants...'

You watch as Negan steps out of the van, his disheveled hair glistening in the sun. As he grabs Lucille, he closes the door and turns around to you, and you can tell he's seen you when his lips start to curve and his head tilts back.

'Miss me doll face?!'

The men on the compound all turn around to look at you, and Arat points towards one of them as she starts to leave your side.

'I gotta talk to Jimmy real quick, one second..'

'Alright..'

You watch her and even though you're trying to ignore him, he's already started to waltz towards you and before you know it you're looking up at him.

'Like the place?'

'Its impressive, I'll give you that..'

He grins and you roll your eyes, crossing your arms.

Anyway doll, I want you to swing by my office. I've got some things we need to talk about..'

'Should I bother asking what's it's about?'

'If you'd like to waste a couple of seconds of your life, go ahead.'

'Okay whatever. You're going to tell me anyway...'

When he smiles his dimples appear on his bearded face, and you shake away the thought that he's actually really attractive. He looks so serious from afar which is actually really sexy, but you refuse to admit. Not today.

'So tell me, how was your day? All flowers and rainbows I expect?'

'I think this classifies as the first real conversation we've had..'

'You like my teasing doll, dont you try deny it..'

'Oh please, someone could tell you they're dying and you'd still make a joke.'

'You should always look for the brightness in things... or whatever the fuck it is they say.'

You can't help but giggle and as the small noise leaves your lips, he looks down at you with his eyebrows raised, probably surprised by the fact that for once you really laughed at him.

'Seriously, how was it?'

You look up at the sky and shrug, but the truth is you're actually kind of glad he asked. Maybe he cares, maybe he doesn't, but at least he asked.

_Doesn't make him good._

'Arat showed me around and stuff, explained how stuff works and which assholes I should watch out for.'

'Is that so?'

'Yeah, I don't understand why you weren't on the list.'

'Is that how it is now? I can certainly prove to you that i'm the biggest asshole around...'

He raises Lucille to his shoulder, and you look at the bloody wire around her.

'Busy today?'

'Indeed I was, with the dead, and some assholes too.'

'Oh but then you were practically related.'

He grins and licks his lower lip, obviously entertained by your comments.

'You've got humour haven't you doll?'

You shrug and look away, because you know it's damn true.

'Arat said something about a party?'

'You heard about that huh?'

'Yeah... I said I'd go..'

He clenches his jaw and stares at you, and you can't help but feel a little scared by his random change of expression.

'I've gotta go get these assholes into line, so don't forget to come to me, or I'll have to use Lucille this time.'

'You already did.'

He looks at you for a moment before turning around to face the men.

'Arat, take her to her new room..'

You look up at him confused. When the hell was this decided?'

'New room?'

'Don't you want your little privacy?'

'Y-yes. Of course I do... you just didn't mention it..'

'Consider it a gift.'

As Arat joins you, you turn away and walk with her, looking back at Negan as he continues to grin and watch you before turning to his men.

You never know with him.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's Chapter 11!
> 
> Am I the only one who really likes this chapter's title? Yes? Okay. 
> 
> And just so you guys know, my last exam is on Friday so after that the later publication dates will be done with and my speedy updates will be back to Normal.
> 
> Ps. I've got science tomorrow and its the only one I'm gunna fail but you know. Life is good.
> 
> Kudos. Comments. Human Sacrifices. You know the drill c:
> 
> Love you all, and thank you for the support. Its what makes me want to keep writing and updating this story for you guys.
> 
> Stay safe, don't do drugs.
> 
> -Taiza


	13. First Act of Ownership

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy my little blue muffins who wait so patiently for everything and that I love.
> 
> I'm seriously so sorry guys, I just needed to de-stress and take a little break because I'm studying maths everyday because I seriously think I'm going to fail.
> 
> I really did try my best and I hope you all enjoy it. 
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

 

**21st August, 3:12pm**

'And here we are. Your little hut for you to spend the rest of our miserable lives in...'

You walk around the room and look over at Arat, chuckling at her sarcasm.

'What the hell pissed you off?'

You walk over to the delicately-carved wooden desk in front of the window and stare outside. Negan chose a little cabin outside for you lined along with the other ones.

'Turns out we do have a run, which means I've gotta leave the comfort of my bed to look out for a bunch of guys I don't care about..'

  
She sighs and walks around the room, inspecting the furniture.

'You got a good one, Negan really likes you huh?'

She crosses her arms and grins at you while raising one eyebrow at you.

'Don't look at me, I've got no idea why.'

She chuckles and heads towards the door, turning to you and clicking her fingers.

'I'm gunna get going but, but I'll tell Ezra to come by and get you.'

'Oh, the party. Right.'

'What else smart guy? Expect a knock at 6.'

You walk over to her and open the door for her.

'Alright, who's getting wasted? So I know if I've gotta ease off to look out for your sorry ass.'

'Don't come to me with that. And besides, its tradition for a new saviour to take as many shots as they can.'

'Well, if you can fail, consider it done.'

She steps outside and turns around waving, a smile on her face.

'You better practise then!'

You shake your head and laugh as you watch her disappear in between the cabins.

'This isn't that bad...'

You look around at the little wooden porch and smile, you like the idea of having your own place. It makes you feel like you own yourself.

'Not that he owns me. I'll die the day that happens.'

Now, all we need is a few flowers and a small table and chair, and this could pass for home.

_But it isn't. These aren't our people. Daryl and the others are._

'I know that! But we're not escaping anytime soon!'

_Not with your ambition we're not._

 

* * *

**6:16pm**

You hear a knock and you head over to the door, opening it to find Ezra with his hand in his pockets analysing you.

'I'm glad..'

He smiles and watches you as you tilt your head in confusion, not sure what he's talking about.

'Glad about what?'

'You look casual, not like you're going to a wedding..'

You raise your eyebrow.

'Well, I don't really expect it to be a party full of flowers and cakes and freaking decorations.'

He grins and turns his back to you, so you close the door quickly and join his side.

'I wish Negan's wives were this smart...'

You look down at your moving feet and giggle, because this just suddenly makes him feel more human. He's mostly serious from when you were with him earlier, but right now, you feel like you can talk to him, cause he's not a freaking robot.

He leads you inside the factory through the side entrance and you make your way through a long flight of stairs.

'How'd you end up here?'

He looks at you for a moment before looking ahead, his face serious.

'Negan wanted me as one of the Saviours, but I refused.'

You nod as you struggle to picture someone saying no to Negan.

You can imagine Ezra doing it though, looking Negan straight in the eye and saying no, both of them staring at eachother and everyone watching wondering 'what the fuck just happened?'.

That doesn't mean you can imagine Negan accepting a no though.

'But Arat said you're one of the saviours?'

He grins slightly, batting his eyes as he looks down.

'That's what she wants.'

He walks through a set of doors and holds it open for you without turning back.

Thank you! Someone who knows how to hold a door without being awkward! Atleast he doesn't stare into my freaking soul as I do that little awkward 'I'm trying to hurry up but really there was no need to hold the door open because I was miles away' jog.

'What did Negan do?'

He leads you down a hall and he looks aside at you, tilting his head.

'You scared of Negan like everyone else?'

You clench your jaw and scoff, shaking your head as you stare down at the wooden floor.

'I just really want you to tell me that you put him in his damn place.'

He looks ahead and slowly starts to grin, unable to hold it in.

As you reach the doors at the end of the hall you can hear people shouting and singing on the other side.

'Keep it that way.'

He pushes the doors open and you look around.

People are sitting around laughing and drinking, and some are walking around an air hockey table in the middle of the room. The lights are dim and everything feels so calm and peaceful except for the noise.

'Is Arat back from the run?'

'No, not yet...'

He walks towards a small table near one of the windows and pulls the chair for you to sit but doesn't wait for you, instead he heads to the other seat opposite you.

How can someone be so not-awkward?

You sit down and shove your hands between your legs, and you leans back against your seat and tilt you head.

'Why are you here y/n?'

You raise your eyebrows and look into his brown eyes.

'It wasn't by choice. But now I don't mind it as much, I've got people like you and Arat. I honestly expect a bunch of assholes...'

'Oh really?'

'What I mean is, it's not that bad...'

'Why did you think it would be?'

'Negan.'

He crosses his arms over the table and watches you, his eyes serious but kind at the same time.

You lean your elbow onto the table and rest your face onto your hand, your eyes looking into his.

'You still haven't said how you got here..'

'I'm back kids.'

Arar falls into the chair beside Ezra and sighs, exhaustion written all over her shiny face.

'I seriously thought I was going to come back next week. Freaking walkers everywhere lately.'

You look at her but you can still feel Ezra looking at you, as if Arat isn't even there.

'Maybe its a herd?'

'Oh shit, the last time we had one hit us was months ago.'

Ezra leans his back against the chair and turns his attention to Arat, nodding slightly.

'Its been too quiet lately. Wouldn't be surprised...'

'Well-'

'Good evening folks!'

You hear him behind you and everyone gets up, but you watch as Ezra hesitantly rises from his seat while everyone's on the floor kneeling, and slightly arches his back downwards. You get up to and turn to him, and he's already looking at you, and when he knows his got your attention he slowly walks over, his eyes focused behind you.

Focused on Ezra.

You shiver as he walks past you, his cologne wandering around you as the room turns silent when he stops in front of Ezra and you slowly turn around to look at them, staring at eachother.

Megan tilts his head to the side as his face is still and serious.

'Got a problem with kneeling down boy?'

Ezra stares at him, his face as equally emotionless as Negan's; the only thing that different is you can see the evil in Negan's eyes. Ezra's just has pure calmness written all over them.

'Back hurts.'

'From doing nothing all day?'

'From taking care of the recruits that are suppose to be yours.'

Negan's jaw tightens and you swear he's about to kick him to the ground, until a grin forms on his lips.

'You got that fucking right. My recruit.'

Negan steps closer and raises his head, looking down at Ezra as Lucille hangs in his hand.

'So... stick to fucking sweeping the floor I walk on kid.'

You can see the sharp line that is Ezra's jaw flex as he watches Negan turn away.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He starts to walk towards you and you freeze, your heart beating fast as he raises his hand towards you and pulls your waist to his, and you stand there looking up at his hungry eyes as they stare back into yours.

'Who the fuck said you could come here doll? To my fucking office now, and you better expect some bruises on that little ass of yours...'

'I didn't do anything..'

'In my office. Now.'

He bumps into you softly as he walks away, and you stand there as everyone in the damn room stares at you, the embarrassment crushing you down like an ant.

 

_Still think we should stay?_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's chapter 13!
> 
> So today in English class a group of boys were arguing about TWD and I literally just sat with them and held my hands and rested my elbows on the table and said 'Where shall I start?'
> 
> If you're going to argue about the best show that exists you need an expert like me to be present.
> 
> Nextchaptershallhaveslightsmutpleaseforgivemelord.
> 
> I love you all and stay safe!
> 
> Kudos.comment.bookmarks.human sacrifices.
> 
> -Taiza


	14. Feeling Home When You Don't Belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY MUFFINS.
> 
> No I was not kidnapped. No I did not die of an unknown disease. No I did not get called to be in the army. 
> 
> But I did have my exams. And hoooly shit were they important. I had to study loads or my dream of being a lawyer would've gone straight down the drain. 
> 
> I did pretty good but I failed maths like the rest of the country buuut I promise you guys I'm going to persuade my dream college to accept me. So my disappearance wasn't in vain.
> 
> I love you all and I'm so sorry for everything. Feel free to attack me in the comments, hate's on me tonight for free, no grudges.
> 
> In 1 week I'll let you guys know if they accepted me, but of course they will, how can they not... *insert paranoia here*
> 
> -Taiza .-.

_**21st August, 6:32m** _

You stare at the door in front of you as you try to anticipate what mood Negan's got in stock behind this door. He could be angry as hell, cynical, sarcastic, or plain calm, which seems very unlikely considering his little outburst a few minutes ago.

_Not to mention it happened in front of everyone. Including Ezra._

'Like that's the problem right now?'

You grab the handle and inhale. You just pray that whatever shit he's got to say, he'll say it fast, cause all you really want is to fly back to your cabin and let the night pass.

But of course, this is Negan, we're not getting that anytime soon.

You push the door open and step inside slowly, and as you shut the door his presence feels the room like a cold winter's air.

'You've got manners.'

Oh Fuck off.

'Did you really bring me here to talk about my etiquette?'

You turn around slowly to face him, and there he is: slouched in a big leather chair behind a desk, his legs outstretched across the furniture besides Lucille.

'Don't try smart mouth me doll.'

'I've got a smart mouth? You really want to say that after your little fit back there?'

'You think that's a fit? Sorry to tell you dolly... but you're in for a fucking surprise.'

Right. Because there's something even more asshole-licious that he's hiding. Please, there's no way you can be more of an asshole.

'Pretty sure you can't be anymore of an asshole than you are.'  
  
_You said that out loud._

He chuckles as he averts his gaze to his lap, and slowly his body begins to shift and before you know it he's towering over you even though he's a few metres away.

Out of all the people in this 'community'... you sure as hell were the last one who was afraid of Negan, but it still doesn't hide the fact that at times you find yourself wondering what he's going to do next.

And sometimes, that wonder mixes with fear.

But that doesn't mean you'd ever admit it. Not to the asshole himself anyway.

'You want me to be an asshole?'

You scoff and raise your eyebrows, shrugging your shoulders because you're pretty sure this is him being an asshole already, and at his best.

'Honestly, can't you just quit it? Stop acting like this big tough guy that everyone's afraid of. I'm not going to turn into one of those people out there. So just tell me what you need to, and let me go back...'

'You're not going back to that place...'

'I wasn't talking about that. And you know what...'

You tilt your head and cross your arms, indignified by his sense of authority, which you by all means, do not agree with.

'If I wanted to go back, I would.'

His lips curve into a smirk, clearly enjoying your defiance.

'Dolly, Dolly, Dolly...'

He keeps his gaze on the ground as he begins to stand up, and as he slowly straightens up he casts a giant shadow that reaches for you across the floor boards. You stare at it, realising how much bigger he is, and if he wanted to kill you, he could.

If you didn't kill him first, which you know for a fact wouldn't fail.

'I've told you I like your little attitude don't I? But let me clear...'

How kind of him.

'You disrespect me once again, it won't end well for you.'

You look into his eyes, both staring at each other with an angry yet calm frustration inside of you.

'That's clearly already happened. I'm stuck in here with you aren't I?'

Your lips curve slightly into a smile as he stands there, his eyes fixated on you.

_Finally, you're back to your senses._

You spin your whole body and turn your back to him, your hair dancing in the cold air. As you start to walk away, you admit you're pretty damn proud of yourself, if he even gets the slight impression that you're scared of him, you might as well join the ranks, cause the day that happens, he'll think he owns you.

'You little..'

You hear his lowly voice behind you as you feel his firm hand grab a hold of your arm. He pulls you back against him, his prickly beard brushing against your jawline as his lips make their way to the crook of your neck.

Naturally, you try to pull your arms free, but he's hold is tight to the point where you feel like you're doomed to stay where he wants you forever.

'You're so sick!'

' I can't control myself when you get into that little diva mood of yours..'

You can feel him smiling, and you picture that smug ass grin of his paints across his face, like some sort of joker.

'Get use to it cause that's all you're gunna get from me..'

His grip softens as his head pulls away, followed by a knock on the door.

'Boss, we got a situation near the east gate- oh, sorry sir..'  
  
Simon stares at you as you run your hands quickly through your messy hair, which is Negan's doing, of course.

'What's the problem?'

'A small group of 3, headed towards us.'

You chime in as Negan's about to respond.

'Walkers you mean?'

Simon looks at Negan before responding, as he turns his gaze to you.

'People...'

You hear Negan sigh behind you, the floorboards creaking under his tall stature.

'Aren't Jerry and his crew suppose to handle that side of the outside?'

'Yeah, but they wanted to know if you're coming, it's people so...'

You look at Negan as he picks up Lucille, and you nod eagerly at Simon.

'He can go!'

'I can?'

You walk towards him, and you stare into his eyes with a seriousness in yours, and disguised worry.

'Bring them here, and don't hurt them, or you can forget about having me here.'

'That's not your choice doll..'

'Just don't fucking hurt them.'

Your voice sounds higher, and the worry in it is showing.

'I like the way you asked...'

He stares down at you for a few brief moments before turning to Simon.

'Comin'... since I gotta goddamn handle everything in this damn place.'

* * *

 

  
**_7:13pm_ **

You stare at the ceiling as your body lays dead on the bed.

You can feel your heart in your chest, cradled inside your rib cage because it is damn near exploding out of it. You know you didn't give a damn about those people Simon mentioned, I mean, sure, I'm sure they're decent people who don't deserve to die.

But that isn't what you care about.

'What if it's them?'

You stick your hand upwards and stare at it, comprehending the fact that it once held Daryl's. Your soft skin against his rough and dirty palm, from handling his crossbow all day, protecting everyone.

That's what earlier was all about. As soon as Simon opened his mouth, you imagined them all, Rick, Glenn and Daryl walking into the Sanctuary, because they had been caught by Negan's men while they were looking for you.

Especially Daryl, his deep blue eyes hidden under his rough hair, staring at you in disbelief, relieved he had managed to find you in this god forsaken place.

_Can you imagine his face when he sees you?_

'We don't know if it's them... don't get your hopes up...'

_Better to think it is._

 

'Y/N...?'

 

You hear a soft knock at the door, so you rush to your feet and grab the handle, opening the door slightly to see Ezra's brown eyes looking down at you.

'Ezra...?'

His hands are in his pockets and he's looking at you with his usual serious expression.

'Did you knock him out?'

You look down and laugh softly, shaking your head.

'Not yet...'

'How could you disappoint me like that?'

You look up at him, raising your eyebrows.

'If it makes you feel better, I really wanted to.'

'But then you thought about how cold the cell floors are..'

You widen your eyes and nod.

'Eeeeexactly.'

His lips curve into a soft grin, so you open the door, ushering him to come in, shutting the door softly behind him.

'I'll let it go this time...'

You walk over to him as he sits down on one of the big sofa chair, sitting on the one next to him.

'It wasn't that bad, if it makes you feel better, no one talked about it after...'

'Despite the big scene Negan made?'

'Yeah... wasn't that bad.'

You look at him with a mocking smile on your face and your eyebrows raised, and as he looks back at you he slowly lowers his head and chuckles to himself.

'It was pretty fucking bad...'

'I knew it!'

You both laugh like children as the summer air flows inside through the open windows, the crickets chatting away outside as the trees stay perfectly still, unbothered by the noise.

'God.... he's like a child... '

'Putting it lightly..'

You smile down at your lap, surprised at the fact that Ezra's presence makes you feel normal, like you're almost at home.

You raise your head and look at him, his masculine features glowing softly from the bonfire outside.

 

'How do you know what the cells are like?'

 

You watch him as his eyes wander to the floor, his gaze frozen as if his mind was stuck on an image that wasn't pleasant at all.

'Negan doesn't like threats, so if he think you're one, he throws you away.'

You watch his face, it's serious but you can still see the rage in his eyes.

'And you were a threat...'

He grins, but not a happy grin, it's a grin that's mocking Negan, and his fear of Ezra being a threat to him.

'How long were you in there for?'

'Not very long...'

'Better that way...'

* * *

 

**_  
8:53pm_ **

You'd both been sitting here talking endlessly, about Negan and his asshole ways, the Sanctuary, what came before it, life outside it, and what life would be like right now had the world not gone to shit, and what you both would've wanted it to be like...

'I'd be sitting somewhere, a balcony high up, surrounded by the noise of the city to-'

'Feel less alone...'

You look aside at him.

 

'I'm... so tired of feeling alone...'

 

He looks outside at the night sky, his face barely showing in the darkness.

 

'Like there's no one else left...'

 

'No one else at all.'

 

He sits up and stares down at the ground, his soft lips opening to speak.

'You don't have to be alone anymore..'

You stare at him, your cheeks suddenly warm..

Ezra gets up, and your eyes follow.

'Are you leaving?

He heads for the door, and you get up and accompany him.

'Gotta' head back to the cabin.'

'Its way past 8... Arat told me about the curfew...'

He steps aside and turns around to face you.

'Don't know what a curfew is...'

You smile and shake your head.

'Just don't get caught.'

He grins at you, his soft eyes pulling you in...

'Alright Dad..'

And he starts to walk away, his broad back lighting up against the moonlight.

You shut the door and stare at the chairs you were sitting on moments ago.

 

'What the hell...'

 

Weirdly enough, you realise you had spent a decade talking without a moment of awkward silence, but all you talked about was you, and others, but you didn't learn anything about him but the fact that he posed a threat to Negan.

Yet you felt close to him, like he'd been around your life a long time.

You just told him pointless stuff about you.

But... what was pointless about him?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ROLL THE CREDITSSSS
> 
> SOOO that was the long waited chapter that everyone was asking for. I promise you I'm not the real director of TWD even though I just made you wait almost until October.
> 
> Do not hate me. Because I love you soooo ACCEPT MY LOVE.
> 
> Now excuse me as I reply to all your comments and apologise continuously.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> -Taiza. <333


	15. The Cells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *begins to type shamefully after 2 months of a no-writing hiatus*
> 
> HELLO MY PATIENT ANGELS.
> 
> Yes, I've been gone a long time, so lets get straight into it.
> 
> I started college, and I don't know if I told you guys but it was the worst college I've ever been to:
> 
> No one would talk to me or anyone else except their friends and the atmosphere was the most antisocial experience I've ever had. I could get more conversations from a wall. I was just really depressed for a whole month so I really didn't want to write at all. At all. At all.
> 
> I always tell you all to do what you think is going to be best for you, and I mean it. If the decision you're making does not make you happy and it makes you doubt what you're doing, don't do it. 
> 
> And that's what I did. I changed college and the people there are everything I wanted it to be and it feels as if I've known them all for ages. I'm so happy and this is why I urge you guys to do what makes you happy, because it's your life at the end of the day, stop thinking about what society thinks. They're all assholes anyway.
> 
> So yeah, I spent another month catching up and now her I am, back with suspense *ba dum tss*   
> and I hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> I love you all, and enjoy!
> 
> -Taiza

**22nd August, 9:15am**

"I've got a run today, and I swear to God, I didn't get any sleep so, there's not going to be any running at all.'

You look at Arat as she bites away at her apple, eyes tired from last night's 'party'.

It was a party for them, but not for us, because thanks to Negan, you barely managed to stay a full ten minutes because of his stupid little tantrum.

'How bad did you drink last night?'

You raise an eyebrow at her and she scratches her head, trying to remember whatever faded and fuzzy images are in her head.

_But you remember last night clearly don't you?_

'If I told you I don't remember anything after the 3rd shot, how bad is that?'

'Bad enough for me to start giving you a speech about how you need to be careful out there because we need you here-'

'Alright alright! Next time actually be there to hold me back..'

You scoff mockingly and pick up a grape from your plate, analysing it, when really all you're trying to do is hide how embarrassed you are from thinking about yesterday, god, how he held you... how close he managed to get.

'I'll be sure to tell Negan that..'

As Arat continues to talk to the other men on the table, you look around the room. People are talking, eating, dreading the work that needs to be done, ready to head out and bring home supplies.

Because it's part of their routine.

But not yours, and the little moments where all this starts to feel normal, all disappear when you realise you're here against your will.

  
Of course, many of these people probably didn't end up here by choice, but they're okay with it now, and you're never going to freaking be.

'Ezra, about time, are you coming with us?'

You turn your head to see Ezra sitting next to Arat who's opposite you, as he sets down a knife and some rock beside it. He shakes his head and he begins to sharpen, gaze focused on it, your eyes reflecting in the metal, and of course, your cheeks are red from yesterday thoughts again.

'I'm not a Saviour Arat, how many times is it going to have to come out of my mouth...'

Arat shakes her head and picks up her plate as she gets up, ready to leave the table.

'Keep saying that, while you sit in here, wasting away what you're actually good at.'

You stare down at your plate as she walks away, and it's just you and Ezra, along with the small feeling of aggression Arat kindly left in the air...

You look at him, as he continues to sharpen his knife.

'Some sort of long term disagreement?'

He shakes his head.

'I'll help these people, but Negan can handle his own shit out there...'

'And Arat disagrees?'

His hands stop moving and he looks up at you, eyes staring straight into yours, those dark galaxies for eyes that keep on distracting you from whatever he's saying.

'Do you?'

You lean back into your seat, and it all flashes through your mind, from the moment Negan found you in that small town when you were nearly shot to death, and when he found without nothing on that bridge.

The time when he swung that goddamn bat across your face, because that's the asshole he is. And god does it piss you off. Even after all that, you still manage to have conversations with him, actually enjoy talking back to him, the constant cynical insults to one other, mostly coming from you.

'I'm as much Negan as you are.'

His head gives you the slightest nod, clearly glad of what you said. Unlike Arat, you despise Negan, and you can't help but wonder why her loyalty towards the Saviours was so strong. Did she actually support them? Was she okay with killing people so ruthlessly? Or had that happened already, except to someone she loved?

And worst of all, was it because of Negan?

'Then get your shit together, cause you're my help for the day.'

'I could've been sleeping yesterday, but thanks to you, I was up thinking about what the meaning of life is, so I deserve anything but help you with your damn work.'

He smiles, getting up from his seat as he continues to dismiss you as usual. How can a guy ignore and pay attention to you at the exact same time? Classic Ezra, frustratingly pleasant as usual.

'Are these complaints?'

You get up and follow him towards the exits, shrugging your shoulders just to be a little prick.

'I don't know, my bed's pretty comfortable..'

You raise an eyebrow and he swings his head back, mocking you as he speaks.

'Want to go back in time and take your precious time back?'

You shrug your shoulders again and begin to walk ahead, stretching your arms just to seem unbothered, when really your conversations with him are the ones you actually try with.

'Not really, it was happily spent..'

You can hear him chuckling behind you but you turn your attention to a squad of Saviours escorting a man with a dark bag over his head.

His hands are tied and his clothes are disgusting, probably from getting pushed to the ground so much, but worst of all is his shirt..

That white fabric with red splattered all over it, blood dry from hours of torture, or atleast you hope not.

'And she defends him..'

Ezra's watching him too, his eyes fixated on the Saviours, a silent anger in his expression.

'What happened?'

The Saviours walk towards the building, towards the entrance where nobody goes through, probably because it leads you straight to the cells underground, because who would want to go there?

'They found people yesterday... and if he thinks he can turn them into one of them.. the Saviours, he brings them here.'

'And if he thinks you can't?'

Ezra's eyes follow you, slowly switching their attention to your head. He lifts his arm, and with a gentleness you never thought he'd have, he caress' his thumb against your head, shuffling your hair where Negan hit you.

'You know the answer to that..'

His arm drops and you watch as he continues walking, taking a step back.

'Come by again tonight..'

'Aren't you coming?'

You cross your arms, knowing your excuse is going to bother him but, it's the only one that'll work.

'Negan needs me, probably still has things to say from yesterday..'

He looks at the ground, his jaw tight, his body tense.

'You know where I am.'

You smile softly, and as he turns away you watch his wide back take in the sun as his heavy posture crushes the gravel beneath him.

Arat's right, he'd be the best Saviour we'd have.

_We?_

'Just agree, you fancy little shit.'

 

* * *

 

**11:45am**

'Get the fuck off me!'

They handle you as you struggle to break free, but they're struggling too with the damn force you're putting in.

'Were fucking taking you to Negan, you little shit, no one's suppose to fucking go in there!'

'And she fucking tried to kill me, stupid fucking-'

'What in the fucks name is going on down here?'

They throw you across the concrete floor and you see those damn leather boots, and as he starts talking you scramble onto your feet and punch him over and over in the chest, your knuckles jabbing against the spikes of his leather jacket, the pain shooting through your hands,

'How could let that happen! How can you let him touch her!'

He grabs a hold of your wrists and pulls you to himself, holding you in place as you keep on trying to hit him hard enough,enough so that it'll hurt him as much as it would hurt her.

'Hey! Hey! Y/N! Calm down!'

'Get off me!'

'Stop it!'

'You're disgusting! I hate you and this place! I hope you-'

'Calm down!'

He pulls you into his chest, and slowly your punches become weaker and weaker, and your screams become small whispers against his heart.

'How could you.. let them do that..'

His lips are warm against your head and you can hear him whispering, his arms warm and tight around you, and you forget everything around you, except what you saw.

'Shh... calm down.'

 

* * *

 

**8:12pm**

'I'm sorry you saw that...'

You're against Negan's chest, your small body is cradled in his lap as he holds you in his warm hold, breath faintly brushing past your ear. You can hear his heart beat, and its weird, he's a real person, right now, he seems normal like everyone else, except he makes you feel as if he cares, which others don't.

'I thought you allowed that, that you knew it was happening.'

His arms tighten, and he places his head over yours, you're surrounded by him, and it feels okay for once.

'I'd never let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch, especially not when he's around you.'

He sighs, and the cold air brushes past your soft hair, tickling your shoulder.

'For fucks sake baby doll, he's one of my men, I trusted that fucker around you...'

You look up to him and he shakes his head, going back to being the one in charge.

'I'll fix this, don't worry...'

'Okay...'

You shove your face into his neck and close your eyes, you just want to sleep and let it all go away.

 

Her screaming. Her begging. All of it.

 

'Negan...'

'Yeah...?'

'Im sorry for being down there...'

He rests his hand on your arm, thumb caressing it softly.

'My little doll's apologising?'

'Im not repeating it..'

He chuckles against your hair, and his silver beard tickles against you.

'You're a goddamn Christmas present...'

'Shut up..'

'Too late to be a smart ass now darlin'...'

You shove your face further.

'I hate you.'

'Everyone does doll...'

You swear, if you weren't half asleep you could've sworn you heard sadness in his voice, a need for care, exhaustion from his cruel ways.

'No one in this place will go through that. I fucking promise you.'

'I'm taking you up on that..'

'It'll take less time than you expect.'

You feel his heart beat against your chest.

'I care about these people, they trust me, and that's all Im fucking here for...'

You could've sworn you wanted to kiss him and hold him there, and that you saw him as a person with feelings, for a small second.

You could've sworn...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's chapter (what the fuck chapter is this?)' 
> 
> I hope you guys like it and more will come soon. Just not like tomorrow soon cause I get a lot of a assignments but life is good so don't worry.
> 
> Ps: yes, you're not suppose to know what she saw.
> 
> LOVE YOU ALL
> 
> AND YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME 
> 
> XÔ XÔ 
> 
> GOSSIP GIRL
> 
> -Just kidding Taiza <333


	16. Horizons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He guys!
> 
> Sorry for the delayed upload, just a lot of stuff to do for college, and I just had finals too, so this month was busy.
> 
> I'm sorry I'm not as fast as I use to be, but I do try my best and I'm sorry for the freaking crazy waiting time, so thank you to all who read this week after week.
> 
> Anyway, intense chapter, hope its not too much.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Taiza

The door was split open, the air was so silent that you could hear your heart beating.

But it wasn't that which was going through your ears. It was her breath, her muffled voice, the low grunts.

 

One.

 

The fabric of her clothes shuffling against his, her body struggling against the concrete wall, against him.

 

Two.

 

She was trying to scream, trying to run away, but there was no where she could go. That wall was going to be her passing landscape, the last thing she saw before she was gone.

 

Three.

 

There was you, standing there unnoticed. But not for long. Before you knew it, you were around him, clawing away at him wherever your hands managed to reach.

 

Four.

 

His blood tasted disgusting, just like him. And now, because of him, you had heard it. Seen it. But now he was never going to hear again.

 

Five.

 

He was never going to see with both eyes again. This piece of shit who could see, but had no vision.

No vision to see the human being he was destroying.

 

Six.

 

"And that, ladies and gentleman, is what fucking happens to rapists under my fucking roof!'

 

There stands Negan, Lucille tight in his hand with blood flowing out of her. His eyes on her, his hungry little girl, proud of what she's done.

'Prisoner or not, that will not be happening in my Sanctuary, and any sick fuck who thinks they can do otherwise, is going to end up like Big Bow over here!'

You stand there, merely existing among the crowd. Everything's quiet, slow, still; except for _his_ body, twitching on the floor from the shock, from Lucille.

You can hear the blood dripping from the edge of the stage, the thick substance trickling into the floor, staining the rough concrete.

 

The floor you're standing on.

The floor Negan just batted someone to death on.

The floor above the room that someone tried to rape that innocent girl in.

 

Seven.

 

Everything Lucille touches, turns to nothing. To blood. To guts. To gore.

But it's not Lucille, she's not the root of the problem. Its Negan.

 

'Rape is not allowed in this place! I'd honestly, I wouldn't want to be in a place where it is!'

 

But this time, he's right.

 

'You, clean up this mess, and the rest of you, back to your posts! Let this be a reminder of the rules...'

 

The rules. The rules.

* * *

 

**11:30am**

'Negan wanted me to see if you're alright...'

You're looking down at Negan, getting into his truck by the central gates. You're all the way up here, in his room, when really it would be great to be out there doing things, anything, just to forget what happened in the morning.

'I'm fine...'

You can hear the floorboards shifting under Simon, as he moves closer.

'Look, don't be a dick to yourself. Negan doesn't stand for rape, none of us fucking do, alright? Don't beat yourself up..'

Rape, he says it like its just a word.

'I don't. Negan did what's right.'

You can tell he's standing there surprised, wondering what to say at your remark.

'I'll let Negan know...'

The door shuts, and you watch the Saviours below, loading onto the back of the trucks, as Simon approaches Negan minutes later. They talk, Negan with Lucille in his hand, and his eyes looking up at you. You can barely see his face, but he's got that grin, but it's not cocky this time around.

He's pleased, actually satisfied.

* * *

 

**4:35pm**

'Don't get too close...'

 

Ezra.

 

You place your fingertips onto the wired fence, the walkers trying to turn towards you, uselessly twisting against the metal bars going through them.

'They don't scare me much, people do...'

He's silent, so when you turn around to face him, your head looking aside, he's staring beyond the gate, beyond the walkers.

'What happened, Y/N?'

You turn away, looking at the walker on the other side. It's a woman, in a long, floral dress, and thin dark hair, like her, the girl in the cell.

'What do you want to hear?'

'I want to know how you are, I saw you Y/N, you were watching it this morning, and while everyone looked away, you barely flinched.. '

'There was nothing wrong, I didn't need to look away...'

'Nothing wrong? Negan beat him to death, and that's normal to you?'

You grab onto the wires, curling your fingers around it, crushing it in your hand.

'Negan beat a disgusting piece of shit to death, a monster who would've abused a girl if he hadn't been caught...'

'That's not what I'm talking about Y/N...'

'Well maybe it should be!'

You turn around, staring at him as you take a step closer, staring at his face, staring at his eyes that are looking right back at you and asking if what was done was right.

'You want to come to me and ask me if that piece of shit deserved to die? Yeah he did, and guess what?now he's dead. Negan did what had to be done, because he's the one who can!'

You exhale hard, pure stress releasing itself through your breathing.

'Maybe you should worry about the girl who almost got raped, the one Negan has got up in a room right now, receiving everything she needs, everything she asks for. But no, all you want to mention is that fucking asshole who's dead!'

'Y/N, I wont-'

'If you think you know what's so wrong, then why don't you go up there and take that bat yourself and do us the honours?'

'Y/N stop...'

You turn away and pass through the stretch of concrete ground, towards the sanctuary. You don't know if Ezra's following you, and you hope he is, because he's wrong... but you don't want to hurt him, he doesn't deserve it, no matter what he does.

_Nice, side with the other guy, because he's such a good person._

  
You push the door open and storm inside, and soon enough you're surrounded by everyone else, but it's the conversations that are suffocating you.

 

'They should've killed him away from everyone else..'

 

'Stop questioning Negan, do you want to get us tossed in the cells?'

 

'Couldn't he just have gave him the iron?'

 

'Should've just melted his face off, didn't have to die...'

 

'Why are worrying about a prisoner? She's not one of us.'

 

'An outsider has authority now too? I'll be damned-'

 

Don't. You have to be calm right now-

 

 

'You're all weak!'

 

 

The conversations stop, and everyone looks at you, stares at you.

  
  
'None of you could ever do what Negan does! You're too weak and need someone to protect you! Because you wouldn't last a day outside!'

 

You scoff, looking around at all the people, dressed in their uniforms, in their aprons, holding their tools in hand.

  
'You should be thankful for all that gets done for you. All that gets done because you're weak!'

  
Silence fills the dull hall as all eyes stay fixed on you, judging. Not one word, one sound, until a large screeching noise causes everyone to look behind you, towards the entrance.

You feel the rays of light shine onto your back, illuminating people's faces, forcing you to realise it's not you they're looking at. It's someone else, the someone they all behind to bow for.

It's Negan, the root of the problem. The great Saviour, Midas himself, except there's not gold involved here, just endless bowing, and blood, death mostly.

'Well, would you look at that...'

You already know, you don't have to look. He's got that satisfied grin splashed across his face, and his eyes, they're hunting you.

* * *

 

**4:44pm**

'What am I gunna' do with you little tiger?'

You look out the horizon, which at this point has become those damn, rotting gates. The only sign of life, if you can call it that, are the walkers, and even though they're past dead, they're free, freer that you, but even they are chained to this place, so you're in no better place.

'Tiger?'

You hear the rough leather move against itself as he moves around the room, the movement louder and slower as he approaches you.

'Look at me.'

He wraps his cold, gloved hand around your wrist and guides you around, and you look up to him. He's pretty. So so pretty. This is the face of someone who just killed a person- a rapist, hours ago.

And it doesn't make him any less magnetic to you.

'That outburst out there? Stepping out of line like that? Doing exactly what I tell them not to do? Did you think that was alright with me?'

'I really didn't think about you. I thought about that girl-'

'Shh, don't interrupt me Y/N.'

His face shifts closer to yours, and he's inches away. The light is illuminating his tanned skin, his faded beard, the aged wrinkles around his eyes, those brown marble slates that have a fascination for wrong things, for you.

'What you said... I'd beat the hell out of anyone who steps out of line like that, and you did. You told them they're too weak. That they need a leader.'

His uncovered hand finds your chin and slowly holds it into the air, his cold fingertips against your skin, which radiates warmth compared to his.

'They fucking needed it.'

'They did?'

His lips stretch, and that damn twisted grin appears again.

'They... they did.'

'Aha. And you know what you're gunna' do with all that determination?'

 

  
You're going to be a Saviour.'

 

  
You stop, standing still below him as his presence starts to tower over you. You feel small, choiceless because you know it was a demand, a sort of need, and not one of his fantasies had gone unfulfilled since you've been here.

'I can't...'

'You will.'  
  
The arrogant emotion on his face disappears and he falls back, his eyes on yours. He raises Lucille onto his shoulder and she's staring at you, mocking you with her bloody wires, and reminding you of what happened earlier.

'I want you ready for tomorrow and I want no shitty excuses, got it tiger?'

_Well say something! You're just going to become one of his little soldiers?_

'And uh, you should head downstairs sometime, help the poor girl out, she needs it.'

He smiles at you over his leathered back before shutting the door behind him, leaving you in his room.

This damn room which is a reminder of all the things the Saviours take. The things they steal, what they-

'The outside...'

You grip onto the window frame and look out into the horizon.

The real one. The one with the forest so far the trees are just a green blur.

 

'Daryl... I can find Daryl..'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *due to inconvenience we couldn't afford a guy to fix the credits*
> 
> Soo! Does everyone get what the counting was about? Lucille? Bam bam against the guy... yeah.
> 
> Anyway, I'll definitely post the next chapter in less than a week and a half because it's the holidays so!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed, and I just want to say that rape is not okay, and there is no excuse for it. If you're a 'victim' of something like this, you're not a victim, you're a fighter, and you're stronger than me, stronger than the people around you because you're carrying on after it all, and you should, because your life is precious and no scumbag can take that away.
> 
> Once again, thanks for everything and I hope you guys enjoyed! 
> 
> Happy December everyone!
> 
> -Taiza <3


	17. Alongside Salvador

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey guys!
> 
> It’s been a long three months since I last wrote a chapter, and I have no excuse except the fact that I just had no drive for writing for the past 3 months. College has taken my energy and my will to do what I love to do during my free time, things like drawing, reading, and of course, writing. 
> 
> And after these 3 months, I can finally say, that I‘m back to knowing who I am and what I love to do. I realised how I was literally just living for the sake of handing in my projects on time, and that isn’t what life is about, it’s about doing things you love, the little things that make you happy. And now, I’m finally back to doing those things.
> 
> I’m reading again, my current book is Brave New World.
> 
> I’m drawing again, currently focusing on human figures.
> 
> And I’m back to writing, so now I give you guys chapter 17 of Ways to Cope.
> 
> I love you all, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

 

_**26th August, 10:32am** _

You pushed the door softly, and she was sitting there in the middle of the room, the curtains draped over the bed, guarding her small silhouette in between the sheets.  
The light transcends all over, and you can see the dust particles dancing in the air in between the sun rays.

She's as still as can be, as if she's not even breathing, just sitting there watching the clouds pass by through the window, rolling away from her.

 

'Hello...'

 

The door clicks behind you and you can almost swear you saw her head shift, for a split second, but after that, she's still again.

 

“My names y/n....”

 

You approach her bed, or the bed, you should say. Because, this isn’t her home, and neither is it yours, even when you try to make it feel like it is, it isn’t, which makes the fact that it does feel like it even worse.

And then there’s her, the only one that’s like me. She’s not a part of us. Us? Us. If she’s like me, then why do I put myself on their side? I’m thinking it now. I’m thinking I’m like them, that I’m part of them, when I shouldn’t be.

_You’re not._

 

“I had hope... before this place...”

 

Her figure is still untouched, but the silence isn’t, it’s disrupted by her voice, a soft but dominant sound which shows mix of loss and certainty.

“Before these... people... brought me here, I found hope again. It’s easy to lose it in a world like this, I know I had...”

I slowly approach her, noticing how frail she is, maybe it’s just her, maybe it’s what the world did to her, but you don’t bother to figure it out or wonder what she was before all this, and why she ended up here.

 

“What changed?”

 

Her arms tense up and her head drops slowly, staring towards the floor, a sense of caution in her movement.

 

“He helped me, he didn’t have to, but he did. He was so young, his eyes so pure and blue, so much kindness...”

_Like Carl.._

“And he was so young, and he was still alive... in a world like this. That could’ve been his excuse for being scared-“

 

No. No, no, no. It can’t be. It’s impossible. He must be far away by now, with them, not here, not anyway near here.

 

I grab her shoulder, my fingers accidentally pulling on the hair of the back of her head, and I realise I’m being too hard, but she has to tell me. She has to know something!

 

“He should’ve been scared, and he should’ve killed me... but he didn’t, he helped me instead...”

 

God... it sounds like Carl, for God’s sake it sounds just like Carl!

 

“Listen to me!”

 

I rush to her front and grab her arms, and a sharp cold shoots through my palm.

 

“Was he wearing a hat? Was he with a group?”

“He was alone and he was young and he helped me, and then your people took that hope away from me...”

 

I stare into her eyes which are ignoring me, or as if they’re unaware of me because it feels like I’m not even here.

 

“But now I understand, he helped me so I could be strong, and he didn’t kill me...”

 

_She feels dead..._

 

“I know now, I lived because I have to get rid of people who aren’t like him...”

 

_Why is she so cold..._

 

“He didn’t kill me...”

 

I continue to stare at her, but my grip loosens as I realise her skin is too hard, too cold, too flat to be skin.

 

“So I could kill people like you...”

 

For the first time it feels like she’s blinked, like her eyes have realised I’m here, like her hands. One disappears into her sleeve, and the sunlight hits against the blade of the pocketknife as it comes towards me. I’m looking up at the ceiling, and then at her, and that same cold feeling shoots through the skin on my cheek, as my grip around her wrist hardens.

 

“Get off of me!”

 

She continues to push the knife towards me, but I smash my fist into the side of her face, and I find myself coughing with the ceiling in my view again.

 

“I-I want to help you...”

 

I roll onto my side and look behind me to scan where I heard her fall, but all I can see is an empty room and droplets of blood smeared onto the side of the bed.

 

“S-shit...”

 

I wipe my cheek and inspect the small amount of blood, and scramble to feet wiping it away onto my jeans.

Get her! She knows about Carl and she’s probably met the group before she got here! Go after her!

I stumble to the door and sling it open, and as I look around the hall I see a guard at the end of it, a man with rough blonde hair.

 

“Hey! The girl escaped! Call for backup-“

 

I grab onto a small frail arm that’s suddenly wrapped around my neck, and I realise it’s her as soon as I feel that same cold blade pressing up against my throat.

 

“Drop it!”

 

The guy across the hall is pointing his revolver at her, and I can hear her laughing at him from behind you as her thin arm pulls you against her.

 

“I’m going to kill every last one of you, starting with you...”

“Drop the fucking knife!”

 

What looks like 100 men assemble behind him, all their rifles and pistols aimed directly at her.

And I realise, that I’m not scared. I’m her protection from their fire but I have this certainty that I’ll be fine, that I’ll live.

 

“Go ahead, try to kill me... Kill me for no reason. I had no reason to help you back then, and I still did. So go on, try to kill me.”

“It’s just a fucking knife! Shoot her now!”

 

I latch my nails into her arm, and when I feel a sharp groan beside my ear, I let go and push my elbow as far into her side as I can.

 

“Get her now, go!”

 

I turn and kick the knife out of her reach, before jumping on top of her and pinning her against the ground as she continues to laugh, her eyes mocking mine as if I’m not there again.

 

“You’re all scum...”

 

I open my mouth, because I need to know, but before Carl’s name even leaves my mouth, the shadow of the others project themselves onto her, and her face becomes unrecognisable.

Her blood splatters all over my face, and I don’t shut my eyes, I don’t squint. I just let go. I let go of her. I let go of the only sign I had of the others. The only sign that they are out here, and that they are alive. The only sign that I would see Daryl again, hug him with my own hands, see him with my own eyes.

I feel the people around me pulling me to my feet and pulling me back, until I can’t see her anymore, only all the people around her body.

 

“Hey, you alright?”

 

I look up at a guy, the same one that was down the hall moments ago.

 

“Do you need to go down to Dr Carson?”

 

I realise I’m staring at him and ignoring his questions, so I try to form a sentence with the image of her head being blown out right under me.

 

“N-no.. I’m fine.”

“You should probably go see him anyway...”

“It’s fine, it’s just a cut, nothing serious...”

“Not that. I meant, to talk about it, they blew her head off right in front of-“

“Oh I-I don’t need to talk about it, it’s fine.”

“Alright, I guess... I’m sorry it’s just-we had to neutralise her before she found a way out or got a hold of a weapon-“

“I-i understand, no worries...”

 

He nods while his eyes continue to inspect me, probably wondering if I was either strong or demented.

 

“Well uh, if you need to talk about it? The names-“

“Dwight! What in the holly hell happened-“

 

Negan appears around the corner and quickly turns his attention from Dwight to me, but I doubt it’s my face he looks so confused about, but rather the shit load of blood on it.

 

“The girl from the group that we brought in 3 days ago tried to, uh, escape and kill her...”

 

I look up from Dwight to Negan and he’s still staring at me, his expression looking more disturbed than confused now.

 

“Is she dead?”

“Yes Sir, she managed to break free and hold her down so that the guys could, um..”

 

Negan raises his hand and Dwight stops speaking, and Negan softly takes a hold of my chin and turns my face to the side to examine it.

 

“You killed the mouse, little cat?”

 

I sigh almost mockingly at how lightly he’s taking the situation.

 

“I think it was more than just a mouse...”

A strong rock-like bearded man hands Negan the knife, which is covered in blood, and Negan looks at it with a look of disgust.

 

“She took out Dewayne, Sir. He was on lookout on this floor.”

 

Disgust at the fact that one of his men has lost his life, not the blood.

 

“Dwight, get y/n back to my room, and make sure she gets cleaned up and that cut treated aswell.” 

 

Dwight leads the way, but I feel Negan‘s warm touch against my arm.

 

“I’ll be up there soon, just gotta get everybody calm...”

 

I look at him, and for once, I understand, I look at him with sympathy, and I think for the first time I saw Negan in a position where he was worried, where he was needed and where he was a leader, a leader who cared. A Saviour.

 

“Okay.. be careful...”

 

_You’re the one who should be._

 

* * *

 

  
_**11:17am** _

 

“Did he take care of that cut?”

 

I look away from the window to turn to Negan, who’s placing Lucille up against the bed, while his eyes stay fixed on me.

 

“Yeah, should fade in a few days...”

“Good, wouldn’t want a scar...”

“That would be the least of our problems...”

 

I watch him as his eyebrows rise, a humble grin on his lips as he tilts his head.

 

“Our problems...?”

 

Heat rushes through my cheeks and I turn my face away to the window, to the outside. It’s a relatively gray day, an appropriate setting for today’s events.

 

“Y/N....”

 

I can feel him getting closer, and I try to keep my eyes focused on the outside. His energy surrounds me, and I feel that relaxed dominance about him, like he’s in charge when he doesn’t even try to be.

 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, for you to have to go through that...”

 

I let my breath out softly, shaking my head discreetly as I do, trying not to picture what had happened, I don’t want to. She reminds of how comfortable I’m becoming with all of this, how deep inside I’m actually content, actually pleased that I’m away from the outside, which makes guilty. Daryl is the outside, he’s there somewhere, maybe he’s looking for me, and I’m in here, getting comfortable.

 

“It’s fine, I just wish I could’ve helped-“

“You helped me, by protecting my people, so give yourself some credit-“

“I wish I could’ve helped her...”

 

I look up into his eyes, and he looks serious, not the serious when he’s angry, this is different somehow. He looks worried, like earlier, only softer and... more fragile, which I thought was hard for someone like him.

 

“You can’t blame yourself doll, some people, no matter how much you try help, they choose to, lose themselves.”

 

His gaze slowly shifts from me to the window, but it doesn’t look like he’s seeing the horizon, the trees, the road. He looks like he’s seeing something else, something that happened long ago, a memory.

 

“How do you know?”

 

For a moment, his eyes stay fixed on the outside, but then they’re back to looking at me, along with his grin.

 

“Common knowledge, isn’t it?”

 

My eyes watch him as he moves closer, his figure towering over mine, with dominance.

 

“You couldn’t help her, but more importantly, you helped me men, my people. And I’m not letting that go unnoticed...”

I see his hand moving towards my face, and I feel the warmth caress my face, the opposite of the cold feeling of his leather glove, the exact opposite of discomfort.

 

“You’re very valuable to me doll, and I’m going to take care of you...”

“I don’t need you to...”

“That only makes me want to even more.”

 

His hand moves away, and I can’t help but miss it once it has left.

 

“You’re where you’re suppose to be, and you’re not going anywhere.. so hang tight, little cat, I’m going to be around for a long time...

 

 

And you’re going to be right alongside of me...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I did!
> 
> I wanted some development for Negan, because I do believe he is a complex character which goes beyond the basic “badass” villain we see constantly in movies and books and every where else.
> 
> And again, I’m sorry for this massive delay, but I’m the type of person where I dont want to write just for the sake of doing it and getting out of the way. I want to give you guys something worth reading, something that I’m proud of, so I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> So I’ll end with this, dont just live your life for the sake of living it, go after what you enjoy, no matter how big or small it is, it’s your life, so make it enjoyable.
> 
> Love you all and talk to you soon!
> 
> -Taiza


	18. Important Notice

Hey guys,

I was working on chapter 18 recently and I realised that for some reason the chapters have all been switched around, so unfortunately, I’m going to be fixing this in the next couple of days, and when that’s done I’ll post chapter 18.

I’m not sure what happened, but the chapters are a complete mess, so I’ll be fixing that for now.

 

I’ll be making some changes to the time frames also, to fit into the accurate timeline of the show itself.

I’m sorry for the setback and thank you for your patience.

 

-Taiza

Expected release date of chapter 18: 7th of May.


	19. For I have Sinned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, long time no see x10.
> 
> As you all probably realised, Ive been gone for a while, and i haven't put out anything. That's because I had no drive and I didn't want to either, because the pressure from just life has really gotten to me in the past few months. But here I am, bringing you chapter 18. 
> 
> I hope you all this enjoy this chapter, and thank you all for being so patient with me.
> 
> -Taiza

* * *

 

**20th October, 8:15pm**

“It’s been, what... months since I found you...?”

 

“Found me? Is that what we’re calling it?”

 

Negan is sitting there, body relaxed and legs outstretched, on his luxurious arm chair.

  

“What would you call it, doll?”

 

He shifts his gaze to me and his rugged eyes meet mine, while his features seem to be catching fire, illuminated by the retiring sunset outside.

 

“I’d call it, since you took me away, by force...”

 

I uncross my arms and walk over to him, offering him a sarcastic chuckle, and his lips curve into a lazy grin, his porcelain teeth peeking through his outstretched lips.

 

“By force, huh...”

 

I walk over to the window illuminating him, and lean against the window pane, gazing over the landscape. It’d been weeks since he’d brung me here, in which I looked at the hills as they welcomed the sunset, countless times. Countless times which I thought about the others, if they were out there. But I’d come to realise, as the days turned into weeks, my thoughts had become less frequent, and my memories of them were beginning to feel surreal. Before I could still hear and see them clearly in my head, but now they were starting to look like faded projections, ghosts even.

 

Especially him. How many time did I try to reach for him in my thoughts, only to watch my hands float through him, as if he wasn’t really there.

 

 

“But it’s not by force anymore...”

  

I hear his breathing change, his breathes suddenly becoming more silent and rigid.

 

“It’s not...?”

 

I drop my head and stare at my hands, they were free of scars, a sight I hadn’t seen for a while.

 

“You took me by force because I thought I belonged to something, that I had a place in this world among people I trusted...”

 

I feel myself smiling, but I can also feel the sense of anger behind it too.

 

“Trust... funny thing is...”

 

 

_You don’t mean this._

 

 

“Trust didn’t get me out of that place. It left me laying there, in the fire, with those goddamn things everywhere...”

 

I hear the floorboards moan and soon his warm touch greets my shoulders, gently spinning me around to face his firery, sunlit eyes.

 

“I’ll be damned if I let anything happen to you doll. I swear, to god, that nothing or no one will ever fucking harm you from now on...”

 

I look into his eyes, and I feel my body shifting towards his, despite how hard I try to step away.

 

“Whether it be by force, or not...”

 

I smile softly, watching as his eyes shift to my lips. His warmth is radiating through my body, which begins to cave in as his voice becomes lower and rough.

 

“From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. I wasn’t going to leave you out there alone, because you just had to be fucking mine.”

 

He stops for a moment, and I can see his gaze becoming distracted, flipping through old memories.

 

“I’m sorry, little cat.. for being so rough with you when it all started, I’m just a fucking caveman...”

 

I close my eyes, basking in his warm touch, feeling the hard feel of his body against mine. I don’t want to leave, because all the guilt I’ve felt is gone in this moment with him. The guilt I felt for “betraying” those who left me for dead.

 

Him. The one who I thought would protect me, left me, dying there...

 

 

“ ** _Negan we’re ready to leave. The boys have got the assholes, we’re hot on their trail-_** “

 

 

He sighs, frustrated, as he retrieves the radio from his pocket and brings it up to his face, but his hand stays wrapped around me, securing me in place as I watch him, his expression having grown agitated, with furrowed brows.

 

 

“Alright, I’m coming down. Signal the boys and tell them we’re heading over.”

 

He returns the radio to his waist and his hand rises to my cheeks, his warm palm holding my face to meet his.

 

“ I think you’re ready to be alongside us...”

 

I stare at him for a moment, waiting for my guilt to appear, but it doesn’t. Neither does my instinct to see this as an opportunity to escape.

 

“I think I’m ready... to be the opposite of a sinner...”

 

“Ohh, little cat...”

 

He chuckles.

 

“I named them saviours, but there’s plenty of sin to go around here...”

 

I widen my eyes eagerly, meeting his gaze head on.

 

“Well then, forgive me father, for I have sinned...”

 

* * *

 

**8:35pm**

 

“You two are getting pretty close lately...”

 

 

I turn around to face Ezra, his back resting against one of the trucks with his arms crossed, eyes on the ground.

 

 

“Just a means to an end..” I shrug.

 

He looks at me, disapproval in his eyes.

 

“I thought you hated him, for bringing you here.”

 

I shrug again, turning my attention to the truck door as I place my weapons inside.

 

“I thought so too. But I’ve realised, the hate I was placing on him should’ve been on someone else..”

 

He raises his eyebrows, shaking his head in slight disbelief.

 

“What people?”

 

I sigh, closing my eyes trying to get my words together.

 

“It doesn’t matter. They’re long gone now, but I’m not, and I’m still here, so I’m going to do what it takes to survive, and if that means fighting alongside him, let it be so...”

 

I hear the gravel quaking underneath his heavy weight as he walks over to me, his manly shadow casting over mine.

 

“Is this what you want..? You’re sure this is what you stand for...?”

 

 

I look at him, thinking about the question for a moment, and I can’t lie, my answer didn’t come with much confidence at first. Until I thought about being left behind by the people that my mind had been defending ever since Negan brought me here. This man, that I’d spent days hating and running from, is the one I’ve realised was doing what needed to be done. What was fair.

 

_Killing a rapist doesn’t fix any-_

 

 

 _“_ Yes, it is...”

 

Ezra scoffs, diverting his gaze to the floor once again, as if he can’t bear to look at me.

 

“Look, Ezra... I know you don’t agree with the way he does things-“

 

“No I don’t.”

 

“Then do something to change that.”

 

He stares past me, and after a moment of sheer silence he walks past and I watch, realising Negan is in his way.

 

 

“Negan. I’m heading out.”

 

 

Negan turns his attention from Dwight and hands him a large map, before swinging Lucille onto his shoulder and bouncing towards Ezra with a smirk on his face.

 

“What was that...?”

 

“I’m ready to head out.”

 

“Head out...?”

 

I can see the veins along Ezra’s arm tensing up, before answering Negan’s blatant burst of pride.

 

“With the saviours...”

 

Negan laughs and leans back, and it doesn’t take long for everyone standing near to watch. The man’s laugh is infectious, as if it blocks out the noise all around, demanding you to focus on him.

 

 

“Well I’ll be damned! It’s about time the little princess came out of his castle!”

 

 

Negan points over to Arat, signalling her to take care of Ezra.

 

 

“Arat, take care of your little friend, we’ll see if he’s useful to us...”

“Yes Sir!”

 

As Arat approaches Ezra Negan turns his attention away and everyone soon follows. I approach them both, paying attention to Arat’s startled tone of voice.

 

 

“I thought you hated him?”

 

Ezra takes note of me behind him, and after a moment turns his gaze to Arat who’s still waiting for an answer.

 

“Everyone seems to hate him until it’s beneficial. Guess I’ll follow...”

 

“What the hell does that mean?”

 

Ezra budges past Arat, and she looks at me for an explanation.

 

“It’s bothering him, the fact that I’ve decided to head out-“

 

“So you’re officially one of us now?”

 

I can see the little grin forming on her lips, and shrug it off with a grin of my own.

 

“I guess we’ll see.”

 

As we both begging to turn away, she chuckles at my remark.

 

“Yeah, we will see...”

 

 

* * *

 

**9:01pm**

 

**_“They’re right up ahead sir.”_ **

 

I stare at the road ahead, looking for a sign of the group that headed out earlier ahead of us, but I don’t see anything, only the road ahead of the trailer and Negan’s eyes.

 

“Are you ready, doll?”

 

I put my foot up onto the small chair and tie my shoelaces tight against my boots.

 

“Isn’t a saviour always ready, for anything?”

 

“Catching on quickly... I like that.”

 

He chuckles, and I stand up, with a pistol in my hand, the silencer attaches onto it.

 

“The reason I liked you doll, is because you seemed wise beyond your years.”

 

I stop, listening to him, rewarding that maybe, finally... I’ll be given a reason to why he had brought me here, why he seemed to have such a deep obsession with me.

 

“You’re unattached from all this, and I want you to take that with you, every time you step out here.”

 

“I will...”

 

My voice is disrupted by the crackle of Negan’s radio, Dwight’s voice bursting through it.

 

“ ** _We’re here sir..._** ”

 

I glance through the window at the front as Negan leads the trailer into the middle of the lineup, cars and men surrounding a group of people who are lined up, kneeling onto the floor.

 

“Is this them? The attackers..?”

 

I watch as Negan stands up, slowly stepping over to me as he holds my face in his hand, looking into my eyes. His expression has hardened, a mixture of worry and warning in his eyes.

 

“I want you to understand what I’m doing here. I do this so I the people back there are safe, so they live their lives free of fear... so you can be safe.”

 

I don’t reply, I just let him talk. I don’t feel the need to, not when he’s finally being sincere, finally telling me a truth that makes sense.

 

“This is why you’re here. The day I saw you, I fucking loved the lack of rational in these eyes...”

 

I smile unconsciously, because if only he knew how scared I really was.

 

“But I also saw a fear, and I couldn’t help feel this fucking helpless feeling of having to protect you.”

 

He pauses for a moment, turning his gaze to the door.

 

“So I want you to understand, that what I do outside, is so I can keep you safe... and all the others.”

 

I turn his face to mind, searching through his eyes to make him understand.

 

 

“Do what no one else is willing to do...”

 

 

He slowly brings his lips down onto mine, forcing his tongue to spread my lips and delve between them, tasting every inch of my mouth and tongue, his teeth grinding against mine as they let out a small, helpless whimper. His hands snake their way around my waist and hair, grabbing my hips and head and pulling them closer to his. I can feel him warm against me, and I find myself pushing harder against him as my hands grab his shoulders, squeezing them in agony.

 

I pull my lips sways from his as I hear Simon shouting outside demanding silence with a “let’s meet the man!”

 

Looking up at Negan I see a twisted smirk plastered across his face, his eyes darker.

 

“Open that door, and go out there like one of mine...”

 

And I do, I push the door open, holding my pistol with confidence as my feet crash onto the ground beneath, swaying my gaze around at the ring that’s been formed. I know they’re all watching, and I finally look down at them.

 

I look at him, his dishevelled hair, his dirty bronzed skin, his rugged blue eyes, those broad, tense shoulders. And I realise, it’s _him, them._

 

I feel my previous feeling of confidence being overtaken by a feeling of fear, a fucking fear I’ve only felt in a few moments in my life, and this now becoming the worst of them.

 

I feel someone pulling my aside, barely recognising the silhouette, my fear too focused on Daryl’s face.

 

What feels like an eternity of silence is finally broken by a sturdy and soft remark from the man with the bat as he sways beside me to face them.

 

“Are we pissing our pants yet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and are happy to put back to this story with me. Please cooment and let me know how you feel, I'd love to hear from all you guys. 
> 
> And as I said in chapter 18 (the notice thing) i'm still fixing the writing for the others for the chapters, so bear with me.
> 
> I love you all, and I'll see you in the next chapter!  
> -Taiza

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> I know theres no smut but I want it to gradually lead up to that. I literally want to build a relationship between the characters, not just random sex.
> 
> Sorry for any speling mistakes!  
> I do proof read but writing is tricky sometimes! t(._.)t
> 
> I'll post the next chapter this week and I'll keep this story updated VERY often.
> 
> Love you all~
> 
> -Taiza


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